Let me preface this whole article by saying I’m without a doubt an awful driver. Completely confident that retaking my driver's test would mean asking my parents for ride until I marry and ask my spouse for rides. I say no way to highways. Roundabout? Howabout no. And yet about 95 percent of you on the road will still piss me off.
Hi everybody, I’m a road rager.
Yes yes, that’s me swinging my hand back and forth dramatically because you seem to have forgotten that there is no stop sign where you are stopped or that you made it to the intersection first. No, I am not loudly jamming out to Justin Bieber’s latest hit, I’m cursing your driving instructor who apparently didn’t inform you of the purpose of a turn signal.
But with a few simple steps you (yes you) can help my road rage, and together we can coexist peacefully on the streets.
Step one: Please for the love of all that is good and holy learn how to use your blinkers.
Once upon a time, a man, a nice man I figure, named Oscar J. Simler can be credited for the turn signal, what I can only assume to be the pride of his life’s work. Don’t be a disrespectful doodle; flick your wrist toward the direction you’re about to turn. If not for me, for Oscar at least.
Step two: Know when it’s your turn.
This goes for all kinds of stops and turns. If I reach a four-way stop before you do and you have the audacity to exert your turn before me, just know your face will be permanently engrained in my memory where you will be added to a list of people who will be haunted by me in my afterlife. However, if it is your turn to go, know that I am not so patiently waiting on you to do so. My dog is waiting for me at home, please don’t let me keep him waiting for you.
Step three: Stay off your phone
