At some point in your life, you will lose someone extremely close to you. Nobody wants that be sooner than later. I had lost my mom almost three years ago when I was eighteen. I wish it could have happened like normal, death by age. I wish I could have had so much more time with her, but that is not how it always goes.
I miss talking to her so much. She was truly my best friend that I could tell absolutely anything to. Since she's passed I have sat and written letters to her, as if she could truly receive them. It has become something that is really therapeutic for me. If you could write a letter to someone deceased, what would you write? Here is an open letter I'd write to my mother today.
There is not a day that goes by that you're not floating through my mind. I know that if I were to pick up the phone and talk to you right now, we would be chatting for hours as usual. I hope you're looking down on me right now. I've been on the same path of success that I was in 2015. I graduated high school the day you passed.
It took a lot of me to get focused on college after that summer. Life felt like such a blur and I felt so weak. You were my motivation. I wanted to be at the top, making great money so that one day I could buy you that house of gold just like that Twenty One Pilots song. I had to get through my head that I needed to keep pushing forward for you even though you had been taken too soon.
I pushed through these past three years of college making amazing grades all while working my job at Starbucks. I had just got that job when you passed and I have stuck to it. I got a promotion this past fall and I am now a shift manager running the store all on my own! Since I got promoted I was able to purchase a new car all on my own. It's a Nissan Sentra 2018 and so fancy. compared to that Versa I had.
I wish I could take you for a ride in it and jam out to all our favorite songs. I also really wish I could just take you for a fun night right now. You know this, but I just turned twenty-one! I know if you were still here we'd be going to Secrets, that bar you can swim at, in Ocean City Maryland in May when I visit Baci (grandma) and Dadzi (grandpa) at their new house by the beach.
I sure miss sipping on pinot grigio at home with you while we talk about life while listening to music. You were always so easy to talk to. There are still moments when I get excited about something or get good news and I go to pick up the phone to call you, but soon realize I won't get an answer.
I can only hope you'll get this letter, even though I know I won't get a reply, I just want you to know that I'm doing well and that I still miss you every day. I will always wish that this was not the way you had to go, but I have grown and matured so much since then and have learned to accept it all.
I love you with all my heart and I'm looking forward to the day we meet again mom.
A lot of emotions were released as I wrote this. I am in tears, but I feel relieved. Getting out what I want to tell her and hoping she reads it somehow really makes me feel like she's still with me. If you miss someone who has passed away, I reccomened you sit down and write them a letter. You may get no reply, but it feels like a one on one with that person you miss so dearly. They may be gone, but they can still be listening and I'm sure they want to hear every word you have to say.