Hello! If you're unfamiliar with my previous articles about vaginas, feel free to click on the hyperlinks in this sentence. Don't worry, they're in chronological order.

This week, we're going to talk about our favorite thing: periods! I can sense all of the male readers shuddering with fright over this horrific monthly occurrence. Don't worry, I'm here to end the stigma surrounding periods.

Periods, for one, are not "dirty," and pads, tampons and menstrual cups should not be considered "feminine hygiene products." You know what's dirty? The five-second rule, but I don't see you making a big deal about it. In previous articles, I have made sure to call these items "menstrual products." They collect blood and uterine lining. That's it.

While on the topic of menstrual products, why do we have to pay a luxury tax on them? Periods aren't a luxury. Shoving carcinogenic menstrual products up your vagina certainly isn't a luxury, either.

Why do commercials for menstrual products use blue liquid to demonstrate how awesome their products are? Periods aren't blue. It would be terrible if commercials used a liquid similar in color and consistency to blood, I guess. It's not like using such a liquid could end the stigma that periods are "dirty." And why don't commercials ever say the words "vagina," "period" or "blood"? Viagra commercials can say "erectile dysfunction" (you know, the problem it solves) but Tampax can't use the word "period," the event during which you would use their products? Am I the only one baffled by this?

Also, why do people who have never experienced menstruation try to tell others that "periods aren't that bad?" How would you know? Does blood come out of your dick? I don't get it. Until you bleed through to your favorite jeans, feel like you're three months pregnant because you're so bloated, have the worst headache(s) of your life, have no energy to get out of bed, experience intense back pain, terrible mood swings and find yourself crying in a fetal position because your cramps are so bad, don't downplay a person's menstrual experiences. (However, if you are experiencing periods like that, please see a doctor.)

Why do our menstrual products have to be a secret? All throughout public schooling, I felt the need to hide my stash, fearing someone would find my pads, realize I have a vagina and get my period and freak out. It's not a big deal! The fact that we have to hide tampons in our sleeves, bring our purses to the bathroom and secretly ask our friends if they have a pad or tampon because you forgot yours is ridiculous, and it perpetuates the idea that periods are dirty. Things don't have to be that way. Grab your pad and/or tampon (we all have to double up sometimes), have it in your hand nonchalantly as you go to the bathroom and just go. Who knows, you might inspire someone to do the same?

To all people with vaginas who experience periods: hey friend, talk about your period if you want to. Complain about those cramps, talk about your heavy flow and don't feel like your pads and tampons have to be hidden away.