So I am pleased that in the last few years, it has seemed like talking about intimacy has started to become more socially acceptable (not that it should matter if something is socially acceptable you should do what you want hello), but at least in my personal life, a lot of people still seem to be uncomfortable with sex.
What I am referring to is not as much telling your sexual stories to your friends, but more being able to talk openly about what you do and do not like with your partner, whether you are in a relationship or not. It seems whether they are your significant other, or a stranger for a hook up, people still avoid the conversation, and I do not get why.
If they are a stranger and you are looking for a one night stand, no problem, but I get that because you do not know them, it is easy to avoid the conversation and get right down to business. However, there are two really important things to consider here. One, if you are looking for a good time, don't you want to make sure that you are going to have a good time? If they do not know what you like (or more importantly don't like), then the experience could not actually be enjoyable for you, or the person you are with. The second thing, and this is a big one for the ladies, I am sure you have a preference as to where he finishes, and if that is not communicated, then all I really have to say is good luck.
Now, if this is a person you are getting into a relationship with, this conversation becomes much more important. Take it from my own experience. I was in a long term relationship where I was not forward with what I liked and didn't like, and after a few months, I felt like I could not say anything because then he would know that I hadn't been enjoying certain things for those first few months. And then a year rolled around and I definitely couldn't say anything. And then two. And then THREE.
Yes.
This is a very sad truth of my life. At any point, it would have been better for me to have had the conversation than never at all, but I can tell you that I have definitely learned from it. This topic needs to be a full blown, sit down and talk conversation at the beginning of any relationship. Even if it feels uncomfortable (which hopefully after some time it will not), it still must happen because your sex life will be so much more enjoyable for both parties.
So sit down, open a bottle of wine, and talk about sex.
