Lessons I've Learned Binge Watching Real Housewives Whether I Want To Or Not

Lessons I've Learned Binge Watching Real Housewives Whether I Want To Or Not

Good, bad and ugly life tips, I'll tell you that.
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If you walk past my apartment, you will probably hear women fighting. Not from my roommates and I, but from housewives of any given Real Housewives show, most likely The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, because we already finished The Real Housewives of Orange County. I never thought about watching the show. Frankly, I had no interest until one of my roommates started watching it in her room, which a few weeks or maybe a semester later moved to the living room. She began explaining who all the housewives were in Orange County and how crazy their lives were. I figured, what's one episode?

One episode turned into one season, and one season turned into a few season finales. Reality TV really is a rabbit hole of entertainment.

It was not a total waste of time, though. For every episode about Heather talking about how she needs her husband Terry to spend more time with the kids or Vicki receiving another facial reconstruction, there are episodes each season that provide for important, albeit basic and perhaps not completely sound, life lessons.

First lesson I was reminded of involves infidelity. These housewives fight a lot, instigated on their own or motivated by viewer hungry show producers. One moral every woman can agree on (and this goes across the Real Housewives show board) is that cheating on someone is awful. It is irredeemable. At least I can rest with the peace of mind that these women whose wealth I cannot comprehend follow the same moral compass as I.

The second lesson I learned is that life is short; start some fights. Burn bridges quickly but always keep redemption in the back of your head because, friendship? Whether I believe this is a lesson I should practice is debatable, but essentially, these women of California lash out at everything and everyone about everything from not ordering a drink to not being fun enough (looking at you, Heather) to watching a wife's child pee in the grass to yelling at a customer service representative for a mixup (this is a callout at Vicki). Nonetheless, no matter how nasty some fights are, they always find some way to make up, even if it takes longer than an episode or reunion episodes, even if the relationships are toxic. We only see what the camera gives us, but these women seem to have no problem "ending" relationships one day and then forgiving them the next.

A third and final big lesson I pulled from watching a disgusting amount of episodes from Bravo TV is, and I really hate what I am about to say, but follow your dreams. Adrienne Maloof, housewife of Beverly Hills owned the Sacramento Kings NBA basketball team with her husband George until they sold it in 2013. Vicki Gunvalson started a Vodka line called Vicki's Vodka. Tamra Judge of Orange County became a body builder and won a competition in an show episode. Lisa Vanderpump, perhaps one of the richest wives in Beverly Hills, owns multiple restaurants with her husband Ken, produces a reality show based on the workers from one of her restaurants SUR and is a major advocate for LGBT rights. They may be housewives, but the term has been elevated to new heights due to them. Say what you will, but they dream of being more than mothers. Honestly? I find that admirable.

Keep doin' you, ladies. Even if I stop watching your lives unfold and come back together like a hot mess, I am sure my roommates will keep their investment.

Cover Image Credit: Wikimedia Commons

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A Letter To My Dancers

Everything your dance teacher wants you to know.
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When anyone (especially a child) chooses to invest their time, talent, and passion into dancing, it's nothing to take lightly. These kids spend more time with me at the studio than they do at home with their parents. Before long, they're my "kids," too. When I only have an hour to lead a warm-up, teach choreography, and rehearse a number, there isn't much time to express the thoughts and feelings I'd necessarily like to. Being a dance teacher is the most spectacular and rewarding job - and I want my students to know that. Between the great rehearsals and the frustrating ones, the competitions and recitals, and the endless hours we spend together each week, there are just a few reminders I need to share with them.

Dear Dancers,

Please love yourself and love what you do with every ounce of your being. Do it with so much passion that your heart wants to burst. Dance is the most special thing; it's something we are privileged and lucky to have, so don't take it for granted.

Please believe in yourself. You are worthy. You are talented. You are strong and capable of everything you set your mind to. Strive to be the best version of yourself every day, not the reflection of the girl next to you. Dance like you. Move like you. Experiment and find what makes you, you. Be an individual. Trust me when I say I don't want 20 carbon-copied robots. I want you.

Trust that I have your best interest in mind. Sometimes my choices and decisions won't make sense, you might be confused, hurt or frustrated, but keep the faith that I'm on your side. I don't want to see you fail, and I'll do everything in my power to help you find the success you're looking for.

I want you to succeed, but for me to do that, you need to tell me what you need. Do you need the counts again? Do you need me to review the transition to floor one more time? If you understand, tell me. If you don't, tell me that, too. Be vocal, be present, be smart, and be prepared. Practice on the sides. Pay attention to the small details. Ask questions. Don't be late, and definitely don't forget your choreography. Take responsibility for your responsibilities and lead by example. Do you have any remote idea how many children look up to you? Who want to be just like you someday? Dance just like you? Kids watch, listen, and copy. Make sure the behaviors you're teaching them are behaviors you're proud of.

Make memories with your dance family while you still can. Cherish every 9 a.m. Saturday morning rehearsal, every competition you attend, every fundraising event, and every team sleepover. It'll be gone so fast. You're going to miss these days. Please, enjoy them.

Don't compare yourself to other dancers. You are you, and nobody can do "you" better than yourself. Don't wish away your abilities by secretly wishing you had Suzie's feet, Betsy's port de bras, or Charlie's center. The only thing you need to worry about is being a better version of yourself than you were the day before. You are your only competition, so don't be too hard on yourself. Be kind to your mind and body. You work day in and day out to perfect your craft and artistry. You work to mold and create yourself. You'll be rewarded with time if you keep fighting and don't give up. Usually when you want to throw in the towel, it's after you don't get the part you wanted or you don't make the team you hoped to. What you need to understand is the answer isn't "No," the answer is "Not yet." You know you're trying and working hard, and those efforts don't go unnoticed -- even if it seems they are.

Please, remember that it's not going to always be fair. You're going to be let down, and you're going to feel disappointed from time to time. You're not always going to win the trophy. You're not always going to get the featured solo part, and not everyone can be the front row and center dancer. This doesn't mean you're "bad" and this doesn't mean you're not "meant" to dance either.

Quite frankly, it's just how it works, you guys. It doesn't mean I don't like you, and it doesn't mean the dancer who does have the solo is my favorite. The dancer just might be more talented. Yeah, I said it. They might have better lines, straighter knees, or stronger stage presence, and that is entirely okay. You're going to run into this for the rest of your adult life. Someone is going to be smarter, more qualified, more desirable for a particular job or position. So instead of despising and resenting these dancers (and especially me), try to learn from them instead. You'll learn more from each other than you could imagine. But if you take away one thing from this, know that you are still worthy of my best training, my best analogies, my best choreography -- whether you are featured, in the third row, or even off-stage for the turn section.

As your teacher, it's my job to teach. Learning (and learning correctly) requires close attention to detail, incredible focus, and a plethora of corrections on my part. Yes, I will go out of my way to critique you, and I will continually tell you what needs fixing until it's fixed. I might have to tell you over and over and over again. And you know, I might even get frustrated with you once in awhile because of it, but here's what you need to understand: This doesn't make me mean or a bad teacher. This doesn't mean I hate you. What it does mean is that I see potential in you and I want to help. I just have to ask, do you see what I see in you? Do you see the talent and abilities I see?

Corrections are good. Success is an incredibly long and never ending process that takes time, but the corrections I give you are helping you get one step closer. So next time you catch yourself getting upset about receiving the same critique week after week or you want to complain about how mean I am, please remember that my intent is not malicious. I'm doing my job.

It's also my job to instill perseverance, dedication, discipline, trust, humility, confidence, creativity, bravery, and strong work ethic into you. I want to push your limits. Test you. Challenge you. I want to mold you into the person you want to be. Even though you probably don't even know who that person is, I do.

There are so many possibilities, opportunities, and challenges that are out there once you enter the world of adulthood. The dance world is so much bigger than your studio, competition routines, and conventions. At the end of the day, no one remembers or cares (especially your future employers) if you won a quadruple diamond platinum plus on your lyrical solo in 2016. They don't care about your first place overall at Showbiz. They don't care if you're Teen Miss Winner of the World. They don't care. What people do care about is your character, your heart, and how you made them feel.

Dancers, I will always support you. Whether you want to pursue a professional dance career in Los Angeles or New York City, in a company overseas, on your college dance team, I will support you. Whether you want to teach dance or choreograph locally in town, I will support you. Whether you don't want to dance at all and maybe be an engineer or a cosmetologist, I will support you. I will always fuel your dreams, goals, and desires, no matter where they'll take you.

I love you and I'm proud of you.

Sincerely,

Your Dance Teacher


Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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