2018 to 2019 has been a lesson for the books professionally. There are narcissists and then there are pathological narcissists and this client was the latter. The company has a particular credo and work ethic that believe in scaring its employees into accomplishing company goals for its stakeholders. When you mix this with a pathological narcissist, this combined with archaic processes means you get the perfect storm. But here are 5 things I have learned and hope that I would be able to come through should I ever come across again. Together with a wonderful peacemaker solution, I have come to understand where I went wrong.

Lesson 1: Trust your instinct when it tells you something is not quite right

The first phone conversation with the client was one week before I officially started with the company. This conversation was quite unpleasant where she proceeded to rip apart my predecessor. How dumb they were, what her expectations were. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I thought maybe it was just a bad experience and a mismatch and with me, it would be different.

She spent 45 minutes laying out her memorandum as a perfectionist would, laying out that any delivery short of this would be a problem. I got off the call and realized "this was going to be a difficult client" but I could turn things around. I knew she was going to be a difficult client but I still took the job. I did it for my kids. My son was in the beginning of his journey and I needed robust insurance, not the insurance I had which covered nothing

Lesson 2: Always, always, always stick to the process—it's there for a reason

So one of the very first things the client asked for was to sign off on every final document. This was outside of the normal process but there was no SOP that stated that this could not be done.

Such a rookie mistake.

Since such a high standard had been set and the gauntlet thrown, knowing my predecessor was fired two weeks after I started, My team and I did as we were asked. I did not know the company processes well enough to say that this was a deviation to the process but leaned on the expertise of my counterparts and team members. But it did not sit well with me this change and I should have stuck with the process I knew to be true.

Lesson 3: Don't allow anyone to disrespect of verbally abuse you

You are there to perform a job. You get paid to perform that job and no one no matter how disappointed they are, or how much you were unable to meet their ridiculous expectations has the right to demean, disrespect or bully you.

Lesson 4: Speak up more

Speak up does not always have to be through your voice. For example, your resignation can speak louder than any words could ever speak.

Lesson 5: If there's something specific you want from a project, make damn sure you get it

I wanted to learn. I wanted to grow and gain new skills. I got some of that. I stretched myself to stick it out to be able to get those things and for that I am pleased. But if I could do it over, I would get every experience out of the experience.

I hope this will help you when you are going through a difficult circumstance.