A Lesson In Dried Pasta
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Health and Wellness

A Lesson In Dried Pasta

Cook it, eat it, but don't throw it.

16
A Lesson In Dried Pasta
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I screamed, "This Isn't Fair!" I sent dry pasta soaring through the air and heard it crash into pieces on the hardwood floor. I saw my dog quickly snatch it up as I sucked back tears and pounded up the stairs. I heard my father yelling after me to come back.

I slammed my door and cursed at it for not having a lock.

It wasn't fair that my mother was preparing pasta. It also wasn't fair that she demanded that I eat it.

When I was super naughty as a kid, my parents would send me to bed without dinner. I would sit on my floor, wrapped in a ball, dried tears stuck like glue to my face, as my stomach made noises that could challenge those of any whale. My stomach felt like an never-ending well that could never be satiated. I would wait until I heard the door to my parents bedroom shut, check that there was no light seeping beneath the door, and then I would sneak downstairs. I would raid the fridge for leftovers and quietly sneak some upstairs.

Now, I was punishing myself and refraining from dinner. But, I wouldn't sneak back downstairs once my parents were asleep and the lights were off. Instead, I would run circles in my room and do crunches with my feet slipped beneath the dresser. I would repeat, "This isn't fair!" over and over again but within the confines of my own mind this time.

I fell victim to the voices within my head. I was so angry at the thought of being forced to eat that I threw dried pasta at my mother; I made a mess of a loving and kind gesture. I slammed doors in my father's face and spit vile words their way.

Soon, they wouldn't call me downstairs for dinner. Later, they wouldn't set a place for me at the dinner table. Eventually, I couldn't be there even when I wanted to.

Next time my mother offers me pasta, I will gladly accept it. Next time I want to slam a door, I will use my words.

There are a lot of things my eating disorder has taken from me. I hope to make up for all the family dinners I missed out on over the years. I hope to make up for all the times I declined a trip to the ice cream parlor, a Sunday afternoon at the movies, or a meal out downtown.

Life is too short to be caught up in a world of food, weight, calories, and numbers. There are only so many family dinners to be had. There are only so many late-night sweet tooth indulgences.

Embrace every little opportunity that comes your way. Learn to say "yes" more often and accept the love and warmth others wish to give you.


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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