Poetry On Odyssey: She Is Pride

Poetry On Odyssey: She Is Pride

A little deep for my first submission, but why not dive headfirst into the deep end?

70
views

We sat on his floor-

A moment I had been taught to anticipate since childhood

A moment I hoped would dissolve the fear that lurked in my subconscious,

A moment meant to prove to myself that I was not an abnormality.


We sat on his floor-

Faces drawing nearer,

Two kids playing video games on the bedroom floor

Door not open, but not quite closed

I know now that that overwhelming anticipation was a cloak concealing the real culprit that lie deep within me

Her name was Dread


We sat on his floor-

heart racing

Stomach churning full of bad butterflies

trying to escape the cage that was my body with filthy desperation


We sat on his floor-

Our lips met and I felt broken,

No, not broken,

I felt nothing.

I felt empty.


We sat on his floor-

I texted my mom,

"Please come pick me up, I don't feel well."

I told a lie.

"My mom says I have to come home, she's on her way"

Another lie.


We sat on his floor-

I think we kissed again

My mind left my body, leaving it empty; defenseless.

Soulless on that floor,

head spinning in the worst of ways.

Chaotic like a train without a conductor,

Hurtling towards the unknown


Flash forward


We sat in my car-

I tasted mint in my mouth and felt the stage makeup plastered on my face,

My hair pulled atop my head in a boyish manner.

Everything heavy with hairspray, and a wave of overwhelming fear that made my head spin.


We sat in my car-

Again I told a lie.

"I have to run home, I forgot my charger"


We sat in my car-

Behind the high school,

In a silence I didn't entirely mind.

This time I knew exactly what to feel.

Her name was Fear.


But in that dark, crowded parking lot lurked a stranger.


We sat in my car-

Her hand on my knee, facing one another

My mind had thrown out all knowledge of human function.


We sat in my car-

My heart raced in my chest

Faster than a horse from the gates after being tied up for far too long


We sat in my car-

Under a street light in the back parking lot

She asked me "can I kiss you?"

Elementary by nature but sweet nevertheless


We sat in my car-

Before the word yes could fall from my lips in an eager, impetuous manner,

Her hands grabbed my face as her lips met mine with an impatience I hadn't expected.


We sat in my car-

In that moment the world stopped

I was exactly who I feared I was,

but in that moment I didn't give a damn.


We sat in my car-

The stranger in the darkness had finally caught up.

And just like that,

my pieces fell into place.

Fear transformed herself into someone else.


She is Pride-

In that moment

I was simply human.

One body connecting with another,

Null and void of anything anatomical.


She is Pride-

I am not broken,

Or abnormal,

Or as the religion I grew up in calls me,

Abominable,

A word I wish we could save for storybook snowmen.


She is Pride-

and with her she brought a friend,

One called Love.


I am not broken.

I am not broken, but by god, I am bent

And fuck yes, I will repeat it until I cannot anymore

I am not broken.


Neither are you.

Neither are those who came before us,

Brave souls who fought the battle that got us this far, some giving their lives to further a cause they so desperately believed in.

Often trans women, many of color.

Women who pioneered revolutions, rebellions, and protests, women who embody this name; Pride


Neither are all the others,

Those who fore fronted the fight for justice even when it was inconvenient, or outright dangerous.

And neither are those who will come after.

The young, queer kids that we look back on

seeing far too much of our young, terrified selves '


Hiding who they are because it is easier, or safer

and we ache with them.

Just as we ache to change the world,

Trudging just a little further, pushing just a little bit harder

so maybe they won't have to be afraid.

And one more time I will say it.


WE ARE NOT BROKEN

You are loved and we accept you

If you have no Mother we will be your mother,

If you have no Father we will be your father,

If you have no family,

Remember "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

A quote often turned into itself and given the opposing meaning.

We will be your family.


The only thing broken is society

And our hearts for those who have lost

or taken their own lives for loving who they love,

or simply being who they are.


She is Pride-

She stands for those too afraid to stand.

Speaks for those too afraid to speak.

For those not living, but simply surviving.

We've been here.

We will be here.

We will persevere.

She is Pride, and she will lead us.

Popular Right Now

20 Fun Facts To Use When Introducing Yourself

As we embark on the semester, we are put on the spot in order to share interesting details about ourselves. This article discloses possible fun facts to tell others!
827492
views

After experiencing my first week of classes, I have learned that every student needs a handy-dandy list of fun facts about themselves to tell other people. Many professors use the first couple of classes to learn about their students, so you may need to think about who you are and how you want to introduce yourself to your professor and classmates. We all have that one go-to interesting fact about ourselves, but sometimes you just have to mix it up!

1. My favorite hobby is...

What do you do in your free time? Personally, I love to stay active! I am a competitive Latin dancer and enjoy teaching and taking Zumba classes, going to the gym, and hiking.

2. I love...

Is there something, someone, or somewhere that you love? What makes your heart ache? What do you miss when it's gone? I can say that I love my friends because I feel my most confident when I'm surrounded by those who love and support me.

3. I look up to...

Is there someone you adore? Who mesmerizes you? Who do you wish to learn from? After watching "A Ballerina's Tale," I discovered Misty Copeland. In 2015 she became the first African American ballet dancer to become the Female Principal Dancer at American Ballet Theatre. Her passion, grace, and strength continuously motivate me to better myself as an athlete and an individual.

4. This art speaks to me because...

Coco Chanel said, "In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different." This encourages me to always follow my heart no matter what. I will never follow society's standards and norms because they do not define me. Chanel's saying definitely influences my character and lifestyle.

5. A funny and/or embarrassing memory of me is...

When you make others laugh they want to spend time and make memories with you! Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. You will come off as down to earth, easy-going, and loyal.

6. My siblings or lack thereof influenced me by...

I can go on and on about my brother, who is 10 years older than I. We have opposite personalities and despite the age gap, we're quite close.

7. My pet(s) are my life because...

Only sad people don't like hearing about furry creatures, even if your pets are slimy and slithering creatures all human beings enjoy hearing pet tales!

8. I'm afraid of...

Your personality can be revealed by your likes and dislikes, including the things that you fear. I am terrified of change and the unknown, hence, the future is an anxiety-inducing topic to discuss for me.

9. I am the way I am because...

What have you gone through in life that has shaped you into who you are today? Remember to be open minded and allow yourself to open up to your peers. You may be surprised by how others respond and/or what others have endured as well.

10. The most unusual item that can be found in your dorm...

This is a fun fact about yourself that can easily liven up an awkward conversation. Think about your quirks and differences! One item I have in my dorm is my teddy bear, Peter, whom I like to joke is my boyfriend.

11. My dream job is...

In college, "What's your major?" is a widespread question. Nonetheless, skip the boring statement of "I'm majoring in..." and go in depth on what your dream job is (hopefully your major factors in to this dream of yours).

12. My hidden talents are...

Angelina Jolie is a knife thrower. Kendall Jenner can produce bird noises. Amanda Seyfried can crochet and knit. Is there anything special you can do? Some people have rare and unique talents, maybe you can think of some hidden talents of your own!

13. My guilty pleasure is...

I will say it a million times: don't be shy when introducing yourself to new people! I'll start by divulging my guilty pleasure: Youtube's family vlogging channel, "OKBaby"!

Check them out: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvUCbnwzySKgbKiB_...



14. Some activities on my bucket list are...


This is an easy way to grab people's attention and find others with similar desires as you. Be an adventurer! Go out of your comfort zone!

15. Talk about your best friend...

How would your best friend describe you? What do you love to do with your best friend?

16. Talk about an accomplishment of yours...

You are incredible and have achieved so much! Reveal something that you are proud of — show off a little!

17. This one time at my job...

Bosses breathing down your neck. Curious coworkers asking personal questions. Cursing customers who never leave you alone. Your job can be filled with tons of hilarious situations that can easily entertain a crowd.

18. During the summer...

Any scars with stories? Any summer flings? Any lessons learned from the tanning too long? Now that summer is over, disclose memories that can leave positive impressions on others.

19. I volunteer at...

Do you do any community service? Share a funny moment while you were volunteering. What did you learn while there? Would you continue?

20. [blank] is meaningful to me because...



What do you appreciate in life? What brightens your day? What makes you fall in love? What does someone have to do to make you smile?

Finally, remember to be outgoing! Reveal that three-mile smile and open your arms to learning about others. Spread smiles, love, and happiness.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Making a Decision: an Indecisive Guide

To all the indecisive people out there: you are not alone

93
views

I am the queen of indecision. For me, making a choice will have me frantically calling both of my parents, asking all of my friends' advice and postponing all studying until the decision is made. Of course, this is because I do not want to make a choice that I regret – such as the time I decided that starting my job at 6:30 am would be a good idea, or the time when I scared my friends with how hyper I was after drinking both coffee and Boba tea. Yet when I take this caution of making the wrong choice too far, the decision-making process itself ends up being regrettable. So much so that I called my mom approximately seven times this weekend to ask her advice on a decision. So much so that my brother used an example of me not being able to choose what kind of shoe I should wear in his article.

This weekend, I was presented with two amazing opportunities to make a difference in the world this summer and I entered a stage of decision paralysis that I did not know was possible. No matter which angle I looked at each situation from, they both would provide me with a phenomenal experience, and would both require sacrifices. Despite not (as of yet) reaching a concrete decision, I learned a lot about the decision-making process and what to do in the next time I am faced with a difficult choice. So, in the spirit of finding summer jobs, gearing up to register for classes and deciding what on earth we want to do with our futures, here are the tips and tricks that I would follow to make the best decision that you can.

Don't overthink it.

dg.imgix.net

Really, this goes without thinking! Or, unlike most of us, it goes with a LOT of thinking! Seriously though, if you overthink things, they will turn into a pudding mush in your brain until you don't know what you don't know anymore. There is a very fine line between thinking through all your options and overthinking them – and judging by the number of times I called my mom this weekend, definitely crossed it.

Always use the pro-con list

Giphy

Ah, the Gilmore Girls. Not only did you inspire me to read every single book under the sun or have a witty conversation full of cultural references no one else understands, but you also taught me the beauty of the pro-con list. Choosing what you want can be messy and difficult to find because of the fears you might have. distinguish from the fears. Writing it all down on paper can often illuminate the right decision and show you which path is ultimately better.

Decide on your make-or-break factor

farm3.staticflickr.com

Sometimes even the best pro-and-con lists will not be enough and will leave you in a frantic analysis ("should I go for the decision with 3 cons or 3.5 cons?") When even the Gilmore method fails, fear not! Consider which factors you truly do not want to compromise on and go from there. This can mean that even the worse decision may be the right one for you.

Trust your gut

i.ytimg.com

As much as it is difficult to dig through your feelings to find your true motives behind a decision, your gut can sometimes tell you what you are most passionate about and therefore what decision is best for you to take. As my Emory Reads friends tell me, passion trumps everything. Choosing which decision aligns with your values will often lead you to make the best and most-satisfying decision.

But trust your head as well

d3i6fh83elv35t.cloudfront.net

But your gut can't always be trusted. It can lie to you, and when you overthink too much, it can change its mind. Your gut feeling may be one that is furthermore borne out of fear of the other option. In that way, I have made many a good decision based on the pure basis of rationality. Using only our heart to make important decisions allows fear to be one of the factors, whereas looking at the decision rationally can help you see the ultimate path.

Ask around

images.pexels.com

When I am puzzled about making a risky decision, I often consult the people in my life who are on my side and want the best for me. These people can help you gauge what your heart truly desires, bring up factors that you haven't considered and even act as a support network for you while making this decision. When your mind kicks into over-analysis, sometimes a fresh perspective is all you need to truly make a confident choice. Decisions are hard, people. Don't make them on your own.=

Don't ask everyone

images.pexels.com

There is such a thing as consulting others to make an important decision, and there is such a thing as relying on them to make your decision. If you ask too many people from too wide a pool, you'll end up having opinions for and against what you are proposing, which means that someone will always be disappointed in your decision. The bottom line is, asking too many people for their opinions is frustrating, no matter what – whether they have contradicting opinions, or they just nod their heads and go "hmmm, tough choice" (thanks, I guess?). In order to avoid frustration, consult the people in your life who know you the best and are dearest to you, rather than the stranger in front of you in line for fries at the DUC.

"Would my dad be proud?"

images.pexels.com

Or your granddad, or your mom, or your professor, or even a TV character. Whoever you know whose morals you can measure your decision up to will often provide reason and illumination. If the decision you are making is not too wild and you feel that you will have their approval, then it is likely not detrimental.

Stick with your decision!

images.pexels.com

Resolutely make up your mind and refuse to turn back. Exercise your right as a free individual to make a choice for yourself, and then do not second-guess it. Please don't do what I did and email a company two days later saying you've changed your mind. Please.

There is not always a right decision

images.pexels.com

Sometimes both decisions you are presented with have different but equally good opportunities. In that case, lucky you! You have two amazing opportunities and therefore cannot mess up. Rather than stressing that you are picking the wrong choice, know that you cannot go wrong in either.

Realize you will grow no matter what

images.pexels.com

Decision-making should be viewed as a challenge and a privilege rather than a burden. Make big, bold and beautiful decisions. Making up your mind can lead to a phenomenal experience that you will adore or a difficult experience that will only fashion you into a better person. Positive consequences can come out of any decision, even if we land in an upsetting position. Each choice we make can positively contribute to our character, fashioning us into the person we are becoming, day by day.


By the time this article is published, I will know my decision. And hopefully, by the end of this article, you will know yours. Let's continue to make decisions courageously, following both our heads and our hearts. Let's be determined to grow through our decisions, realizing that we have made the best choice we could, and never looking back.

Related Content

Facebook Comments