Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away on September 18 after 27 years as a Supreme Court Justice and spending her life fighting for women's rights and equality. For years, she has been an inspiration to me, a hero even, and her death has me reflecting on both her life and the legacy she's leaving behind.

I know she was nowhere near perfect. For as much good as she did, she did as much harm. Part of her legacy is upholding many systems of oppression while also dismantling parts of the patriarchy. I hold her responsible for the damage some of her decisions made but also acknowledge that she changed the world for the better in so many ways. These are two truths that can and do exist at the same time. Both are part of her legacy.

It's difficult for me to cope with her death and with the legacy she has left. I don't want to erase the harm caused to Black and Indigenous people, but I also don't want to ignore the rights women have gained because of her work. She dismissed Black Lives Matter protests. She practically founded the field of gender discrimination law. She allowed a violent pipeline to be built through Native lands and cited the racist doctrine of discovery. She advanced women's rights in so many ways. All of these things are part of her legacy, a legacy of progress but stagnation at the same time.

So while I grapple with RBG's death and the complex, messy footprint she left on the country, I keep going back and forth on whether or not to call her one of my heroes. It pains me to idolize someone who did so much harm, but it also destroys me not to look up to someone who did so much good.

Perhaps my reason for calling RBG my hero is a selfish one. I've always heard that you're supposed to idolize someone who reminds you of you. The problem is that I never learn about people who seem similar to me in history books or in the news. Everyone who makes a change seems to be outgoing, outspoken, and fearless, and I don't see myself as any of those things most of the time.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg was different though. She was shy and soft-spoken. She could easily be ignored in a room. Yet she changed the world. She showed me that a small, quiet woman, that someone like me in so many aspects, can be heard in the loudest ways and can be larger than life. Seeing her do it makes me believe that maybe I can too if I stay passionate, dedicated, and brave.

The death of RBG has left a hole in the country and in the hearts of so many people like me. So while I struggle to decide the proper words to describe her role in my life and in the development of the laws of the U.S., I will say that she is an inspiration to me and so many others, and that is something that I will always be thankful to her for. She's inspired an entire generation to not only move forward with her work in dismantling sexism but also be better and dismantle the systems of oppression that are still being ignored and upheld. She showed us that there is power in dissenting and taught us to fight for the things we care about. She's made us see that it is possible to create large-scale, impactful, meaningful change, even though she didn't always do it herself.

So I guess I'll say that I'm thankful for all the good that she did and for inspiring us to aspire to do even better.

May her memory be a blessing.