Everybody grows up and moves to their own place at some point in their life. For some, this is after high school when they find their own place, with their own job. Some go to college and go from the dorms, to a house or apartment and so on. Some leave to go out of state, and some stay. Some do both. They can either go out of state for school, and then move back after, or stay for school and leave after.

For me, I stayed in state for school. I was born and raised in Colorado, and I’ve never lived anywhere else in my 21 years of life. When I graduated high school, I wasn’t ready to leave like my friends who went to schools like the University of Alabama, University of Montana and Grand Canyon University. I decided to go to Colorado State University which was only two hours from where I grew up. When I started school, I was terribly homesick but not for my actual home -- rather my people, so to speak. I missed my friends who were far away and I missed how my life used to be with them, stable and predictable. That’s when I realized that for me home was the people in my life not necessarily a place.

Now that I am in my senior year of college, I am forced to think about what is next for me in life. The decision was not made lightly, but I decided I am finally ready to move away just as my friends had after high school, for me it just took a little longer. I’ve decided to move to South East Texas after I graduate from CSU. The goal is to attend graduate school at the University of Houston Clearlake, but even if that doesn’t work out I decided I’m still going to move, anyway. Even though Texas is very different from Colorado, my dad’s side of the family lives there, and I’ll actually be moving in with my cousin so it’s still a bet on the safer side because I have people there.

I just got back from spending a little shy of a month in Texas and it made me think about my future in a way I never had. I did get homesick -- not a lot, but a little. This time, however, it wasn’t for my friends or my brother or my family, it was for Colorado. Don’t get me wrong, I love Colorado but I didn’t think it would bother me to be away from it. I don’t think I would have missed Colorado during this trip if it wasn’t for the thought in the back of my mind that this time next year Texas would be my “home”. It made me start to compare the two. It made me wonder if this was a good place for me to live, would I like living there for up to two years rather than the short month I had spent there. Since I had never experienced homesickness like this before this thought hadn’t entered my mind when making the decision to move.

When I got back to Colorado and where I grew up, it seemed different. I had a greater respect for the cool crisp air at night, the mountainous land, the relatively dry weather with heat that eventually goes away. I really like Texas, something about it calls to me. I like how green it is, I like how the humidity makes your skin feel, I also like the lifestyle that would come with me living there. But it’s not Colorado. This trip brought a slight fear into my mind of how homesick I’ll be when I move down there, knowing how homesick I was just starting CSU and how my little trip even brought slight homesickness. The difference is I’m older and my mindset is different. I’ve left home before, I’ve been without my friends, and I’ve spent large amount of times without my family. This time, I want to do it.

Change is always scary, and with change can come a wealth of other emotions including being homesick. Colorado will always be my home, and though I may not always live there, it will always be a part of me and I now know it’s ok if I miss it. That just means I’m human. It’s OK to move on and change. It’s important to start your own journey no matter how scary it could be. Texas is going to be different than Colorado, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be just as wonderful. It’s just time for me to move to my next phase of amazement and even though I’m scared of my perpetual homesickness I know I’ll get through it and it will be so worth it.