Learning To Love My Sorority Again

Learning To Love My Sorority Again

Because I really should have never stopped in the first place

In August of 2015, I ran home to my sorority. This day will always be marked as one of the happiest days of my life. I look back at pictures and I can see how genuinely happy I was. Somewhere between now and then, that happiness and that love I felt, began to fade. But as we gathered around the night before initiation, singing and telling stories, I realized just how much I desperately wanted to fall in love with my letters again.

I'm pretty good at putting the blame on everyone but myself, which is exactly what I've done for the past few months. I stopped going to things and started avoiding people, because I let the negativity of a few affect my overall experience. I let burnt out friendships prevent me from finding new ones. I gave into fear and I gave into the paranoia that I could just never fit in. Somewhere along the way, I forgot that I ran home to this chapter for a reason and that I came here, because this group of girls thought that I did fit in with their sisterhood. They say that a few holes can sink a ship, but there's no reason that I can't build a new one. So, that's what I'm going to do.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard the phrase "you get out of it what you put into it" I would have a good bit of money. If I had a dollar for every time I didn't listen to that phrase, I'd have even more money. This is especially true with me and my sorority this school year. I put very little into it and I got very little out of it. I've had some pretty hard times in the last year and instead of trusting in my sisters, I shut them out. I let a few bad friendships skew my views of over a hundred girls. It was dumb and it was childish and it caused me to waste an entire year in my sorority. While I can't get this past year back, I can try and make the next few a lot better.

I guess I was never really a "sorority girl" and I still don't really fit into society's mold of what a sorority girl is (most of us don't) and the more I told myself this, the easier it was to distance myself. I came up with countless excuses as to why I shouldn't go to things. It was rarity for me to show up to anything. So, the less I showed up to, the more disconnected I felt, which just lead to me showing up even less. It's a vicious cycle that lead to me wanting to drop just about everyday, but I know that there's a reason I haven't done that.

I cannot wait to discover that reason. I'm already so much more excited about the fall semester than I was just a week ago. I'm excited to live in the house and I'm even a little excited for recruitment. I'm going to stop making excuses and start forming closer bonds with my sisters. Everything happens for a reason, even the bad things. Maybe I had to go through this rough year to truly appreciate my sorority or to find the people who I know will stick with me through anything. Maybe I'll find the position that's perfect for me, who knows? But I do know that I'm ready for whatever comes.

I don't know exactly why I stopped loving my sorority, because no matter what I thought, my sorority never stopped loving me.

Cover Image Credit: 7-themes

Popular Right Now

Let's Be Confident And Loving Towards Our Own Genders

Sororities, Workplaces, And Social Life

My name is Melissa Sims and I’m in Alpha Chi Omega sorority. I went and listened to a motivational speaker for women and sororities and I would like to share the empowering knowledge that he brought to my eyes. I have always been afraid of feminists and the overbearing manner that they stereotypically carry, but this showed me that women love and need each other.

Being in a sorority brings about standards, regulations and certain images that we have to meet as "proper women of society." There are many women in sororities around the United States who face oppression and fear of the hierarchy that is instilled within the group, but we are fortunate enough to go to a school where this is not an issue.

However, even in the best schools, the century-old stigmas that men work under the power of men still stands. The speaker mentioned that we still, as sorority girls, dress for men at parties. We flaunt our bodies and desire male attention for the wrong reasons. We also drink for men, when they tell us to chug, to take shots, to "go hard." I am not saying I have not done these things, like dressing for men, but now, if I do them, it is out of my choosing. I dress for me, not for the eyes of drunken boys who only see a body and not a face.

Self-worth is something all women need to work on, especially in modern society. For example, the speaker told us a story about a fraternity residing at another school, neither of which will be named, created an event called the ‘Petting Zoo’ where women buy shirts and tickets to come and touch the men of the fraternity. The saddest part of this story is that sororities on campus actually competed to buy the MOST shirts or the MOST tickets. This not only shows a really bad taste in morale but shows low self-worth and standards. Why, for example, do we raise money at FGCU for fraternities like Sigma Chi in Derby days and do all the work and put in the time and emotional effort when they do not only help with our fundraisers but cannot even match half the money we raise for them? Cooking, cleaning, helping set up for events, walking around and raising awareness; these are all simple tasks that they can complete that can make a huge difference.

We as women must show confidence and independence not only in Greek life but socially and in the workplace. He told us, the audience, that as an employer, he looks for confident, strong women. A woman came in one day for an interview where he worked and he asked her to do something somewhat outrageous. When the woman stood her ground and not only said the task was too risky but defended her argument in a profession and determined manner. She was then hired on the spot, simply for knowing herself, her limits, and speaking her mind.

Let’s say a woman is in a board meeting in a room full of men and the woman proposes an idea. The idea is then shot down by a majority of the men and the woman silently obeys and moves on. The success is lost; nobody wants a team member who just follows the crowd. This is not a successful career or life perspective. If the woman proposes an idea that isn’t majority favored, she should then explain her theory, defend it, and be confident in her ability to make the job happen.

Women in the world right now need to understand that we only have ourselves to lean on. When we are mean to each other, it makes other girls think that it’s okay to make a person feel bad. The speaker spoke about how women nowadays need each other. When one woman is mean to another, for a man, this creates a distrust and fear between a gender that needs all the love and support we can get. He said, “Don’t tear down your sex.” These are words I live by.

“Society does not need or want women around who cannot be supportive or caring to one another. Set a positive example for younger girls. There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women, whether they are in the face of adversity or not.”

I now have a new appreciation for the love and generosity that this man has brought to my eyes. Love is not hard to give, you simply must be open to it. Women are strong, powerful, and unique. Every woman is passionate about something, so let us help one another to achieve our goals, to reach new heights, and build a better bond together.

Cover Image Credit: Photo by Mike Wilson on Unsplash

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Fun Ideas for Big/Little Gifts

Treat Your Little Good


These can seem daunting, but if you aren't the artistic type, the key is tracing! Plus, your little will love the customized art you create especially for her!

2. Food

This is probably the easiest thing to give, and who doesn't love a bag of their favorite snack/candy? It's always a winner!

3. Sorority themed gifts

This can range from letter shirts, to hats, jewelry, customized letters, etc. It's always fun to get more things to rep your sorority!

4. Treat yo self day

Make a day with stuff for your little to treat herself! This can have face masks, nail polish, her favorite movie, bath bombs, etc.

5. Wine/shot glasses

This does not have to promote alcohol lol. Fill them with candy or other fun things! And decorate the glasses with paint to make them customized!

Related Content

Facebook Comments