Relationships of any kind can be difficult to maintain when you are taken out of the norm that you are used to. Adjustments have to be made and different considerations have to be factored in when circumstances change. Typically, the idea of long distance relationships is between couples, but in addition to that component of long distance this summer has also helped me develop a list of “lessons learned” for all types of relationships.
1. The Fam
I am disappointed in myself to realize this, but my family is the ones I take for grated the most. You get so used to knowing that you will have them around, but when you’re separated by miles you slowly begin to realize that you didn’t hug from mom nearly enough, tell you dad you love him daily, or spend enough bonding time with your little brother. Distance has given me that time to take a step back and realize that I have been doing it all wrong. Yes, family is forever, but I have finally realized that doesn’t mean I can take forever to make memories with them. There are so many instances where my family has wanted me to come visit during the semester and my response is “I’m too busy”. After every time they have been there for me throughout my struggles I owe it to the to give them time. Family is important, so give them as much time as you can, I know this is going to be one of my top priorities when I come home!
2. The Boyfriend
From the get go of my internship in DC I expected my time away from my boyfriend to weigh the heaviest on my heart. After being in school together 24/7 I grew accustomed to seeing him whenever I wanted. This time has been difficult and we have certainly had our ups and downs. However, the beauty of this time apart is that it has allowed us to grow as individuals. We have had the chance to have better conversations about our life goals and just learn more about what really matters to us. More importantly, we have learned about our need for balance. Yes, it is easy to want to spend all of our time together because it is so convenient, but we are more than a couple, we are individuals. There are things that I enjoy that wouldn’t be Andy’s first pick for a way to spend his free time, but that is okay. The beauty of a relationship is that you can be together, but still be able to be yourself and do the things that make you happy. I believe that with this experience we were finally able to internalize that idea and it will allow for a healthier relationship in the future.
3. The Friends
Friends are awesome! Each one is so different and brings something different to the table. When you are far away from them you realize that they're a more important part of your life then you think. They lift us up on those crappy days and stand next to you and motivate you to persevere through the bad times. Friends will laugh and cry with you. Make a night on the town full of fun or make a study session bearable. Distance away from your friends shows you who is a real friend and who is more of an acquaintance. The people that will still make an attempt to be in your life even when you are far apart are the ones that will be your ride or die til the end. Find those friends and hold on tight, there’s never a limit to how many friends you can have,so never worry about having too many.
Distance is hard and I don’t plan on doing it again any time soon, but there was a lot of good to it. All in all, I will look back on this experience as a positive thing. Not only did I learn more about science, but I learned more about relationships and how much I care about every single person that plays a role in my life. Love those that love you and don’t be afraid to hold on tight. Life is short and every year flies by faster than the last. Give it all you got and make memories that are unforgettable!
