Learn To Love Deeply Without Dependency
Start writing a post

Learn To Love Deeply Without Dependency

Do not let dependency be what is gluing you together.

couple holding fingers with anchor tattoos

There is nothing worse than going through a heartbreak. Not only that, but it's impossible to avoid. Your heart will be broken many times throughout life. However, it is possible to protect yourself in a healthy way while not shutting the world out.

Over this past summer, I opened my heart up to people who I thought I could trust. That in itself is not a bad thing. It's good to open up and let people in. My mistake wasn't that; it was letting myself start to fully depend on those people. I expected them to always be there. I grew dependent.

This is not to say that you shouldn't depend on people whatsoever. You should hold expectations and standards. But don't let someone else hold you together. Do not depend on someone to hold your hand through dark times 100% of the time. I cannot emphasize how important it is to have a strong support system within yourself. Yes, you should have a support system outside of yourself. You should be able to love people and depend on them to be there for you. But do not let dependency be what is gluing you together.

You can get through the dark times without that person. You can make it out of the troubled waters without someone throwing you a life vest. Learn how to swim. Support yourself as much as you can. At the end of the day, you will always be you. That will never change. So make sure that you have a sturdy foundation that is not sitting on top of someone else.

With all of that being said, you can still love deeply. Love who that person is. Cherish them. Let them see the real you. But do that while holding your own self up. You can be the glue to keep the pieces together. Unfortunately, there will be moments when those pieces fall apart again and again. But you can piece them back together. You don't have to do it by yourself. Have loved ones help you, but it is you that you should depend on.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments