I Had To Learn To Be Selfish
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

I Had To Learn To Be Selfish

Fighting for what you want, need and deserve should not be so hard.

I Had To Learn To Be Selfish
"And I've got this dream..right inside of me. It's time to let it show."

This semester has been arguably the hardest stretch of life I've had since graduating. I thought I had all these amazing friends, a steady job, a career goal I could meet. Then, friends go away. Jobs fail and somehow, that goal was washed away with it.

I. Lost. All. Motive. To. Do. Anything. I didn't have the drive to go to class, I was slacking behind in work and then, I lost the feeling of what my classroom was supposed to be. I've known I was made to be a teacher since I was four.I couldn't feel it anymore. I couldn't hear the kids or feel the environment. I was lost and scared. When I lost that feeling, I lost everything I had ever known. I still knew what I was supposed to do, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So, there I was. With a 56 in my math class, F A I L I N G my education midterm and hopeless.

If I'm honest, I'm still kinda there. I'm absolutely stuck. I didn't know what to do with anything. So, I did what anyone should do in a situation they don't feel comfortable in. I made a plan and decided to leave. Would this negatively impact people around me? Uh, yeah. Would these cause problems with me and my friends? Oh, yeah. But they were part of the problem and I had to OWN that. I could not sit back and let people decide what I was going to do anymore. This was my life, my adventure, my world, MY dream. Not theirs.

I got called a lot of things once I made my feels known. Vindictive, stupid, inconsiderate, hateful, and selfish. Selfish. That's the one that stuck out the most to me. The girl who had drug her friends up from the floor, the girl who would give her last dime to any of them. The girl who literally would lay down and die if it meant protecting them. I was being selfish. At first, I was angry. Then I realized I was being selfish.

And being selfish is okay.

Here's why: Being selfish is okay because when you've given your all for others your whole life, sometimes you have to stop and make sure you're okay. Had I not taken a chance and the time to notice how bad I was suffering, who knows what could have happened. I had to worry about me, and if that makes some people mad, oh well. I knew that the one thing I thought could never change in my world, had vanished. I knew what I wanted, what I needed more than anything. I had just lost sight of it. I had to do what I, not anyone else, needed to do to find it.

This has taught me so much. From here on out, I get to do that. I get to put the needs of myself over the wants of others. I will be humble and apologize if I disrupt their flow, but at the end of the day...it's me vs me.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments