Dear my abuser,

I am well aware that there is a good possibility you are reading this. There is an even better possibility that someone you are close to is reading this. All of you are probably wondering why in the world I want to write any more sentences about what you think are lies.

This is the letter I have been too afraid to write because of the repercussions, but I will not be held back anymore. I will not be afraid of what I went through. Let's start from the most important part.

I am not your victim. I am nobody's victim. A victim means I had to be harmed or injured due to a certain event. You have no power over me. You have no power to harm me. You have no power over any decisions that I will ever make in my life ever again. How can I be a victim if I am no longer harmed by you? I am a survivor. I am living.

"I am not your victim. I am nobody's victim."

I truly loved you. Somewhere deep in my heart, I looked past everything you had ever said to me and the people I loved and chose to love you, but that wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to choose you over everything else.

You tried to take everything away from me. You tried to take my family, my friends, and my ability to love anything, but you. Instead, I chose to open myself up again and I found a love much sweeter than I have ever, ever experienced.

"The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence." (Psalms 11:5)

I learned how to speak up for myself. I learned that a relationship is driven by the people inside it. The man I am in love with chooses to make decisions for our relationships with me and nobody else.

He listens to me when I am having a bad day. He encourages me to take steps towards my dreams no matter how it effects him. He communicates with me and never puts me in situations that raises my anxiety. He taught me that to love him, I had to respect myself, which I never had.

"I learned how to speak for myself."

After I got back on my feet, I had a strength inside myself that was stronger than anything I have ever felt. I learned to fight for myself when nobody else will. I reminded myself that I am a good person with good values and a kind heart. I reminded myself that I am my own person, not an extension of someone else.

So, I forgive you. I don't forgive you to make you feel better. I am not forgiving you because I want you anywhere near me ever again. I forgive you because I deserve to push out all the anger and hate you installed in my heart.

I prayed in the worst part of it all. I prayed for God to give me an out and I got my shot. Then, God showed me this verse, "say to those with fearful hearts, "Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you." (Isa. 35:4)

"I don't forgive you to make you feel better."

That's exactly what He did. God saved me from a place my soul wasn't meant to be. This is a proper goodbye and a chance to put this to bed. This is the last thing I will ever say to you. From here on out, you are in my past and that is where you will always stay.

You no longer have the power, I do. I am using my power to choose to keep you out of my life.

I am not one for last words. They are pointless, so take someone else's words. I included the lyrics just for you.

Goodbye,

Maggie