You’ve likely heard about Katy Perry’s infamous kiss on American Idol. If you haven’t, here’s what you need to know: Ben Glaze (19) auditioned for the TV show and it somehow came up that the young man had never kissed a girl before. The judges teased him a little and talked him into giving Perry a light peck. He kisses her on the cheek and they egg him on until they convince him to try again and Perry tricks him by quickly turning her head and kissing him on the lips. Ben then reveals that he was actually saving his first kiss for someone special.

This situation seems innocent enough, but it speaks to a bigger societal problem. Let’s switch the roles for a bit. Imagine that instead of a 19-year-old man, we had a 19-year-old woman, and instead of Katy Perry, the kisser was a male judge. If this were the case, there would be outrage and people would call for the judge to be fired. But right now, while some are upset, the majority of people are claiming that this situation is no big deal. Perry’s fellow judge, Luke Bryan, is defending her actions, claiming that she is trying to make “fun TV.”

The problem is that we don’t take male victims of sexual harassment/assault seriously. This is just a small taste of what male victims of rape and other forms of assault experience daily. Just look at the backlash Terry Crews experienced after sharing his “#MeToo” story. Men aren’t expected turn down sexual advances, in fact, male victims of sexual assault are often told that they’re “lucky” or that they “probably wanted it.” As Crews states in his interview, “it’s the male version of a female survivor being asked, ‘what were you wearing?’”

Ben didn’t want to be kissed. He admitted that the situation made him uncomfortable. So why is no one listening? Yes, he said he wasn’t necessarily upset at the whole fiasco, but no one should be made to feel uncomfortable. We shouldn’t brush it off when men are harassed. It shouldn’t be okay for women to make inappropriate remarks or gestures to men when they don’t want them. If we expect female victims to be taken serious, we need to take male victims seriously as well. If you wouldn’t want it to happen to you, you shouldn’t want it to happen to anyone.