On June 5, 2018, it was reported that designer Kate Spade was found dead. I cannot say that I was a person who collected her purses. I didn't follow her career. I didn't know her personally. Nevertheless, I found myself Googling articles and refreshing the page over and over for any updates while ultimately holding back tears at work.

Her death brought out a multitude of things in me and the reasons behind my feeling of despair.

One reason could be her connection to something I love. I feel a sense of loss any time a fashion icon dies. Fashion means so much to me. I get out of bed every day for two reasons: food and the opportunity to put on another outfit. Fashion can change your mood, it can bring you peace, provide you with confidence and maybe even a new identity or outlook on life.

Designers are heroes to me. The way their minds work is beyond incredible. Their brains imagine garments and have the ability to bring them to life. They can captivate and inspire others by doing something that they love. Therefore, the death of a designer is always something I take personally. Designers, just like other artists, captivate audiences.

Kate Spade was no different. At a time when fashion was on the rise, she created a classy, easy-to-wear brand that was a contrast to the daring colors and prints that the European fashion houses were creating in the '90s. Her signature handbag silhouettes were sophisticated. Yet the colors and patterns chosen in her lifestyle brand were whimsical and fun.

Another thing that makes Kate Spade's death feel personal is the talk of mental health. As I've written about many times, I struggle with depression and anxiety among other mental illnesses. It so seems that Mrs. Spade also dealt with some of the same issues. It was said she, as I am, was even on medication.

But I've heard so many people on the internet saying, "what does she have to be depressed about?"

That's the thing about depression. It's not cured by status or money or even family. And being in the limelight, she had to put on this face of happiness and pride in her success. I relate so much to the "what does she have to be depressed about?"

Having mental health concerns isn't a choice we consciously make. It's more of a curse we have to live with and persevere through every day. I am in no way saying that I know exactly how she felt or what she was going through. I can, however, empathize with her and I can imagine.

I am sad that someone always has to die for mental health to be talked about. I wish it wasn't stigmatized, but sadly it is. And it's unfortunate that a beloved designer had to lose her life for people to realize that financial and career success isn't the cure for mental health concerns.

It's true that you never know what anyone was going through or what's behind a smile.

I feel for Kate's family. I feel for her fans. I feel for the fashion industry. I feel for anyone struggling with their mental health as I do. I feel for Kate herself. May she rest in peace.