Kate Spade Impacted My Life And Brought Me So Much Joy

Kate Spade Impacted My Life And Brought Me So Much Joy

Some call it a problem, I call it a lifestyle.

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I remember that day like it was yesterday. Casually strolling into the Coach Outlet Store a couple cities over. I was surrounded by all of the beautiful handbags that were hanging neatly on display. My mom had drug me into this store because they were having some kind of sale, I guess. My 10-year-old body was exhausted from all of the shopping that we had done earlier, so it wasn't a surprise that I had quickly scoped out a bench in the corner to rest my size five feet.

Finally, I was well rested enough to be able to trudge over to my mom who had a bag in her hand with C's that met in the middle. She was quietly examining it and finally made her decision to purchase the bright yellow bag. When we got home later that evening, my mom quickly rushed into her bedroom past my dad who subsequently yelled "What was that?" my mom shouted back, "Nothing!". And that's when I knew, handbags were the answer to all of my 10-year-old problems. Now that was about eight years ago and becoming the woman that I am today, still rely heavily on handbags.

My collection has grown to see the brands named: Coach, Michael Kors, Louis Vuitton, and my personal favorite, Kate Spade. I know exactly what draws me to the name Kate Spade. The bright colors, the unique designs, the length of the strap that sits comfortably on your shoulder. I really hadn't known anything about Kate Spade as a person other than knowing that she had sold her company name over to Neiman Marcus in 2009, but that didn't stop me from admiring the beautiful bags. Every time that I stepped foot into a Macy's or even a store such as Marshalls, I ran over to the purse section to scour for a piece of leather that had Kate Spade neatly printed on the front in gold lettering.

The joy that this name alone brings me is indescribable. My first personal purchase of a Kate Spade bag went something like the following, I had just gotten off of work and decided to do a little perusing of the handbag section. I had almost given up my search when I went to the other side of a display and found a bright purple Kate Spade handbag waiting to be purchased. I knew my mom would be upset with me if I purchased the royal purple masterpiece. I looked at the price tag with fearful eyes, how much could this amazing thing cost a 17-year-old?

The first thing that caught my eye was a bright red clearance ticket plastered to the original. I was filled with excitement as I looked down at the new price to find it was only $50! I knew I had to get it so I promptly called my mother and was sent immediately to voicemail. So I tried again, knowing that she was at a Chicago Cubs game, but this was way more important than that. I called again and again until she finally picked up, I said in one breath, "there is a Kate Spade at work, it's only $50 and I'm going to buy it", she sighed into the phone and said okay only because she knew I was going to get it even if she told me no.

I ran up to the checkout counter where all of my friends were laughing because I make a purchase at least once a week, and carefully set down my new favorite item. They rang me up and out the door I went, excited to show the world my new handbag. This went on for a few months every time I saw a Kate Spade I had to at least ask my mom if I could get it. Finally, I gave up my conquests to settle with the bags I have. It was about 3 days before my graduation open house that I got the news the Kate Spade had killed herself.

I promptly read all of the articles I could about why, how, and what she had left behind. I had started to cry while reading all of these heartbreaking articles, learning that she had left behind a 13-year-old daughter. As I was discussing this tragic event with my family that night, I realized that Kate had it all. The fame, the money, the loving husband and daughter, but it wasn't enough to keep her alive. As more and more facts came pouring out about this event, I began to learn that Kate was in a very bad point in her life.

She had severe depression, a mental illness that many people have. I began to ask myself why she didn't seek help, why she didn't pay someone to listen to her problems. Then I realized, not everyone can heal, not everyone can just talk about their problems and be okay again. Some people say suicide is selfish, I, on the other hand, don't. Yes, I do believe that some people could get better when they reach out for help, but some can't.

Some are too far down a path that doesn't allow you to turn around. I believe that everyone that suffers from depression is in a line, this line is headed towards a sea and you can't look up or around you because there is a heavy force weighing down your head. You are walking and walking until you finally feel your feet hitting a pier and you can either jump and end it all or you can hope to God the person behind you wraps their arms around you and brings you back. Kate didn't have anyone that could wrap their arms around her and bring her back to the sand. We could all learn a valuable lesson from Mrs. Spade, no matter how successful you are, mental illness doesn't avoid the well-off. But always remember, there are multiple people there to pull you back to the sand.

As always, thank you for reading!

Cover Image Credit:

Sarah Clinton

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Speaking As Someone Who Has Attempted It, Suicide Is NOT A Selfish Act

It's selfish to even think that suicide could be selfish.

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Content warning: Suicide.

Recently a discussion was brought up in my Philosophy Morals and Ethics class that I can't seem to quit thinking about. The discussion was on suicide and one of the topics was whether or not the act is selfish or selfless.

A fellow student immediately spoke up and gave her argument for why she believed it was selfish. Including the idea that when one commits suicide, they are just passing on the pain to someone else who was affected by the death.

I immediately began to feel rage.

I understand her feelings were probably brought on because she was affected by someone else committing suicide and this was why she felt so strongly for her to speak on the subject. And as someone who has also been affected by someone else's suicide, I can understand her reasoning.

But speaking as someone who has been affected by my own suicidal thoughts and even attempts, I can't agree with her conclusion.

I've been thinking about this constantly for the past week and have been filled with so much discomfort that her reasoning was so small minded, it pissed me off. How could she sit there and say that it is selfish, of all things, if she hasn't experienced the excruciating pain of the constant battling with yourself over suicidal thoughts and depression?

I was so pissed that she would even be so selfish to say that suicide is selfish.

I began writing this as a "are you f***ing kidding me?!" article. But then my therapist's voice crept in and I was reminded to always consider all sides of all stories. I do not know if she has or has not dealt with her own suicidal thoughts. But if she truly had, could she really be able to just sit there and claim that it was selfish?!

Every single case of suicide and depression are entirely different. But personally, I believe that when someone attempts or commits suicide is because they deeply believe it is what is best for them, and others, and there is no other option. You believe that you are such a burden to those around you that you feel your death would better other's lives.

There is no talking to someone about it, there is no getting better, there is no other option. You are so consumed by the intense dark suffocating thoughts, that you can't see any form of light. You can't see that there is any other way out of the soul-sucking thoughts.

You see death as your only option out of it.

As I know now, that is not the case. There are ways out and you can get better. But that still doesn't make suicide selfish because the pain is passed on to someone else.

Merriam-Webster defines selfish as "seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others," and a selfish act as "arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others."

Seeking well-being for oneself without regard for others.

You can't label suicide as selfish because when you truly battle with it, you know the weight it bears down on you. It steals every last breath you find the strength to take.

You can't label suicide as selfish because, in it, you believe that you are a burden to others and the world would be better off without you in it.

You can't label suicide as selfish because you think that someone ended their own life to hurt those around them.

And it's even selfish of you to even think that you can label it as selfish.

Because if you can't stop to remove the blinding curtains from your own eyes to see how much pain they were in to think that suicide was their only option, for them to feel like they had no one and that they were no one, then that makes you selfish.

Not them.

Suicide is a very real topic and action. And I am not saying that I am an expert on the subject simply because I have stared it in the face and was even unsuccessful at meeting its need.

No, I am not an expert on suicide or depression, but as someone who has drowned in the same waters as about 1,400,000 other people, I feel the need for you to know that it isn't just as simple as black and white.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

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The Best And Worst Moments Of 'The Bachelor': Season 23

Chris Harrison was right when he said this was the most dramatic season yet.

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This season of "The Bachelor" definitely went down in history as one of the best. In the beginning, I wasn't sure how I'd feel about Colton being the Bachelor because, just like the rest of America, I had mixed feelings about him. After his breakup with Becca on "The Bachelorette," and an on-and-off relationship with Tia, Colton found his way back to the Bachelor mansion once again, but this time as the leading man.

There were ups and downs, just like every season, but after the finale, I realized that Colton was one of the best Bachelors of the entire franchise. He was right up there with Bachelor number 22, Ben Higgins. He spoke from his heart and it was easy to tell just how hard he fell for some of these women.

Chris Harrison was right when he said this was going to be the most dramatic season yet. Here are the best and worst moments of the entire season. I'm already missing Colton's shower scenes.

1. Worst: The Constant Virginity Jokes

Demi Virgin joke Gif

ABC was seriously milking this.

2. Best: Any time Colton was in the shower.

Colton Shower Gif

Hottest Bachelor ever? The answer is yes.

3. Worst: The Sloth Girl

Sloth Girl Gif

This was so painful to watch.

4. Best: Colton sending home Onyeka and Nicole together.

Colton Reject Gif

Their drama was petty AF and Colton was not having it. Respect.

5. Worst: Demi getting the boot.

demi funny gif

So sad to see my girl put herself out there and get shot down.

6. Best: Demi's personality

demi treasure

Everything that came out of her mouth was hilarious. Can't wait to see her thrive in paradise.

7. Worst: "Roll Tide"

Hannah B Roll Tide

Hannah B's one-on-one date was so cringing. Her season as the Bachelorette is going to be very interesting.

8. Best: Caelynn talking about her past.

Caelynn and Colton

This brave girl shared her story about sexual assault, and it was a moment so much bigger than the show.

9. Worst: None of Colton's hot friends making guest appearances.

Blake, Jason, Colton

I'm talking about Blake and Jason. What a crew.

10. Best: Heather finally getting her first kiss.

Heather Bachelor

When they changed her "Never Been Kissed" title to "Has Been Kissed." Good one, ABC.

11. Worst: Hannah Beast

Hannah Beast

I am really hoping Hannah Beast stays in her cage for "The Bachelorette."

12. Best: Getting a new "Bachelor" recap guy, Daniel Miramontes.

Demi Daniel Facetime

This hilarious guy was made Twitter famous by Bachelor Nation because of his hilarious recaps of the show. He even got to Facetime Demi and was invited to the "Women Tell All." Check him out! @dmiramontes_

13. Worst: Chris Harrison's screen time was NON-EXISTENT.

Chris Harrison

The past few seasons of "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" have been lacking the best host in the world and I am super salty about it.

14. Best: Seeing Colton scream like a girl when skydiving with Tayshia.

Colton Skydive Gif

Too damn funny.

15. Worst: When Cassie broke up with Colton.

Colton Cassie gif

Watching Colton shake from hearing that Cassie was choosing to leave was painful to watch. I am still in shock that he told her he wants to pick her when there were still two other women there.

16. Best: THE FENCE JUMP.

Bachelor Fence Jump

Waited all season for this and it was totally worth it.

17. Worst: When Colton broke up with Hannah G.

Hannah G gif

My heart seriously broke for her, especially seeing how sad she still was at "After the Final Rose."

18. Best: Seeing Colton fight for love.

Colton love Gif

He broke Bachelor rules and made history by going after Cassie. I'm happy the two ended up together in the end.

19. Worst: Not seeing Colton on my TV screen every Monday night.

Colton wave gif

I can't get that smile out of my head.

Another season down, and it was one for the books. Colton, I miss you and your handsomeness already.

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