Relationship Advice Column With Angie And Cass

Just the Tips with Angie and Cass: What Makes Us Experts And More

Weekly relationship column hosted by college experts Angie and Cass, answering questions sent in by you.

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Welcome to Just the Tips with Angie and Cass, a weekly relationship advice column where our two experts answer your questions! This week's theme: what makes you experts?

1. What makes you experts?

We're both college-aged people who have experience with relationships of all kinds—and that's it! We're very different people, with contrasting opinions on romance, hookups, friendships... you name it. That contrast is what makes our column unique, and makes sure you get the best answers we can provide. Plus, sometimes it's tough to ask complicated questions in person, and Yahoo Answers just doesn't cut it anymore.

Know all of our advice comes from two real people and each question is answered just before our column publishes. Although we aren't formally trained, we both have good heads on our shoulders and discuss all of the questions we receive before giving you our very best answers.

2. What do you do if you are in a relationship and you feel like you aren't getting enough attention?

Angie: This could be a simple fix! Is there something important in their life that they're prioritizing, like an upcoming exam? If there's something temporary taking up a lot of their time, you might feel like they're ignoring you when they're truly just busy. If you don't think that's the case, you can try simply asking them what's going on and explaining how you feel—your partner might not realize that you're feeling let down. Approach them in a calm, non-accusational way, and start the conversation with how you're feeling (using a lot of "I" statements will help you focus on how they are making you feel, and not how you think they're feeling.)

Cass: A general rule of thumb is that communication is key in any healthy and thriving relationship. If you feel like you aren't getting enough attention then it is important to tell your partner that you feel neglected by them. Hopefully, your partner will listen to what you're saying and the two of you can talk through how to make changes so that everyone in the relationship can feel fulfilled. In addition, if you find that your needs aren't being met when it comes to the attention you want, try checking out love languages. This is basically the idea that people feel appreciated in different ways and it is important to know what love language your partner speaks because the two of you might not feel appreciation and affection the same way. Figuring out the love language of your partner early on can help with open communication and also understanding the viewpoint of your partner when it comes to affection.

You can find a link to take the Love Languages quiz here—it's extra fun to take it with your partner.

3. Do you think that when it comes to sex men need to put out the equal amount of energy as women do?

A: "Energy" is a pretty broad word for this question. You and your partner should make sure you are on the same wavelength. Even if you're not equally enthusiastic (but both consenting!), you should both be willing to put effort into what you're doing.

C: If you're talking about "energy" as effort then yes, depending on the activity your partner (regardless of gender) should be putting in similar amounts of energy. If you're talking about "energy" as enthusiasm towards the act then YES, at all times all parties need to be putting out the same amount of energy.

A: But don't break it down TOO far. Of course, individual acts won't have the same amount of effort/energy, but broadly speaking, you should both be putting the same amount of work in. I feel like this is going to be a reoccurring theme, but OPEN COMMUNICATION is so super important! If you're unhappy with the amount of effort yourself or your partner is putting in, talk about it!

C: Like Angie said, communication is key to a happy and healthy relationship. If you're not pleased with the amount of energy that your partner is putting in maybe sit down and have a chat with them. I'm sure they'd be more than open to the conversation because no one likes to find out their partner is unsatisfied in the bedroom. Communication equals more orgasms for everyone.

4. I'm worried my boyfriend and I are on different pages in our one year relationship. We were close friends before dating and I love him... but I'm not IN love with him. I think he might be in love with me. How do I continue this relationship without being worried about breaking his heart?

C: I think this situation requires a bit of internal and external conversation. Externally, you need to talk to your boyfriend and express the concerns that you have when it comes to how both of you view the relationship. Leveling with each other will save a lot of heartache in the future. Internally, you should reflect on why you think you might not be in love with your boyfriend. Is there something you're overlooking about the relationship, do you feel like you're settling, or maybe you feel like the relationship has become too routine after a year? Depending on what you find after reflection you should think about where you see you and your boyfriend in a year. Do you see him in your future? If no, that's a deeper conversation that needs to happen sooner rather than later. Regardless, your happiness is paramount when it comes to this relationship and don't feel like you have to stay out of fear of hurting him. It doesn't help anyone to stay in a relationship if both parties aren't completely invested. That doesn't mean you necessarily have to be invested the same amount, but you should be on relatively the same page when it comes to the relationship.

A: I was in a situation very similar to this. I decided how to move forward by thinking about how I felt after I talked to him, so asking these questions might help: is being with him an overall positive? Do you usually feel better after talking to or seeing him? If yes, maintaining some kind of relationship with him, romantic or otherwise, is probably worth your time. Breaking up might not be the end of your relationship—if you think you can stay friends, that's a valid option! Ultimately, though, you're the most important person in your life, and pursuing a relationship that you're not satisfied with isn't worth the effort.

Do you have a question about relationships? Is there something you've always wanted to know but are a little embarrassed to ask? We're here to help—follow this link to send us your questions!

Cover Image Credit:

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Summer In College Is For More Than Just Working

No, you're never to hold to have fun in the summer.

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There should never be an age where you stop having fun in the summer. The weather is nice, there are always things to do, and everyone is just naturally happier. So, regardless of whether you're 7 or 21, I'm talking to you.

During the year it can be hard to find a routine unless you are a very put together person. Sadly, I am not. Even when I tell myself I'm going to eat healthily, work out, and stop procrastinating, I usually don't follow through with that. At school, I find myself in somewhat of a constant catch-up mode. When I feel like I'm ahead on my homework or studying, that usually means I'm behind on being healthy in other aspects of my life. That is why I love summer. It's a chance to reset the clock for a second and catch your breath.

I get that having an internship or working is important for your post-graduation life, but having fun is important for your college years too. When you get a job in the real world, summer is going to look a lot different for you. That is why it's best to take advantage of the time now. This doesn't mean turning down that work experience, it means doing things other than just working.

First things first is finding a hobby you enjoy that you don't do at school. Pick it up for a little over the summer. Why not? For me, this is yoga. For whatever reason, I find myself too nervous to attend yoga classes at school. I have absolutely no reason to be anxious about doing something I like, but I am so I take the time to attend a few classes a week in the summer.

Secondly, try reading. Before you make that look of disgust on your face, think about the last time you read a book of your choosing. If it was recently, then kudos to you for managing your time well enough to do that. If you are not that person, then hello! I am talking to you. I am not a fan of reading because I usually associate it with homework. However, I find that when I have the time to browse the book section of a store for a few seconds, I find multiple books that jump out at me. During the summer I take the opportunity to read a little here and there. The nice part of leisure reading over school reading is that there's no deadline. You can read what you want when you want to.

Finally, learn something new. Again I usually associate learning with things that I am required to learn for my major. Learning something new that interests you is a different kind of rush. When I'm bored in class, I make bucket lists of little things I want to learn about. They can be big or small. One time I wanted to learn how to knit. Don't ask me why my 19-year-old self thought it would be sweet to sit on my porch in the summer knitting, but I did, and I'm kind of sad I didn't pursue that interest. When might I ever have time to learn how to knit again?

These might sound like quirky things to do, but you're young. Make a bucket list and try to cross one thing off each weekend. If you're like me, then you're a little scared of growing up. Scared you won't be able to accomplish all the things you want to. But, the fact of the matter is no one is going to make you accomplish them but you. So, take some initiative and do them. Summer is for more than just working; it's time to live a little and reset the clock.

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We All Know ​Beyoncé Is Queen, But Her Music Is Just The Beginning Of What Makes Her Amazing

There's so much talent in this one woman that for people like me, it's hard to imagine that she is part of the same human race as me.

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I love Beyoncé. That's probably not the first time you've heard something like this from someone you know. Beyoncé is one of the biggest influencers in the world due to her leadership, her inspirational work ethic, her revolutionary music, her empowering values, and of course, her goddess-like voice. There's so much talent in this one woman that for people like me, it's hard to imagine that she is part of the same human race as me. Her abilities are superhuman — every day she's pushing her limits farther and farther.

I think that's what I like most about her. After being under her father's production, Beyoncé began directing and producing her own music videos. She became her own director and made music to lift women (and especially women of color) up. Through her music videos like "If I Were A Boy" to "Pretty Hurts," Beyoncé's music has so much meaning in it that mixed in with beautiful melodic compositions, it creates a space for emotional vulnerability and empowerment.

I love her so much. Some people may choose to say that she's overrated or that she's not even a good singer. That's fine, that's your own opinion. What I choose to focus on is the kinds of bonds and emotional connections between fans of Beyonce who share a passionate love for her music and her purpose. I think that's one of the strengths of fandoms. There are toxic people who will go head over heels to make sure that no one's opinions matter but their own, but it's so much more expansive and widened than that.

Beyoncé truly has so many fans who have similar values as me, such love of family, respect, and acknowledgment of the oppression that women and people of color share. Without influencers like Beyoncé, there would be a small chance for some fans to even meet. Beyoncé has built a channel for which fans can all bond together and build deep and meaningful friendships.

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