As a student, life encompasses a field of lessons we have to learn one by one. Most people don't tell you the real lessons in life that you have to learn alone. I feel like we are left in the dark about the heartbreaks, the failures, and the broken expectations life holds for us. We are taught hope and how to dream instead of HOW to work for our dreams. College is the first of many places where life unfolds in ways I never could have imagined.
Last summer, I entered my junior year of undergrad with excitement and eagerness to dive into another year of lessons. My experience was unexpected, I changed my major from English Literature and Journalism to Psychology and Journalism. With this, I had to plan accordingly to ensure I could graduate on time. Luckily, I have always taken over sixteen credits and was able to complete all the required courses. What I didn't expect was how challenging it would be and I had to adjust to the many different professors and the consistent exams.
Psychology is a LOT of work.
You can easily do the bare minimum but that's not me. I noticed how hard I was working and how little time I had for many other things. However, I found that I did not mind this at all because I was working on campus, starting an internship, traveling and still committing to other activities. It was easy to be alone because most of my friends were studying abroad and were already graduated. In this light, I found it better to be alone because I wasn't spending time with them. The nights I spent studying for exams and writing papers are what I really remember from this year. The hours I put in mattered and were essential for me to grow confident in my studies and in myself.
People will disappoint you.
Not everyone will have the same expectations as you do, meaning not everyone will always understand you and you will not understand their choices. Some people also may take you for granted, friendships are different than high school. Since middle school, I have been close to my best friend. I believe it is a lifelong friendship, she is basically family to my family and I. In college, friendships are inconsistent, people are often self-prioritizing and overlook the needs of others for the sake of themselves. Friendships are sacrificial. In college, people spend so much time on themselves they sometimes forget that.
Meanwhile, I had a lot of time dedicated to ME.
I noticed how easy it is to neglect yourself in college, school can become everything, especially if you live on campus because you are surrounded by it all the time. The workload can stress you out, the people can give you anxiety, the time for yourself can seem very limited. I feel like we should all consistently keep track of ourselves and build our mindsets. Every morning I would journal and pray before I started my day but when I would still stumble, I tended to be hard on myself. I would find excuses not to go to the gym and to instead dedicate more time to school work until my brain felt completely dead. These habits are common but they shouldn't be because soon we start to neglect our self. Personally, I didn't feel like myself, I felt drained.
You are YOUR full-time job.
I learned committing time to myself was what I needed each day. Whether it was journaling about more than the day and more about my feelings, taking a moment to appreciate my looks, affirming myself, or taking a moment to relax by watching Netflix. It may seem simple and minute but it is refreshing. I am a fond believer that you have to feel good in order to do good. Otherwise, you are not giving your all to your work or to yourself.
How are you spending your college experience?
Most people are in relationships, greek life, a club, a sport, or going through college without doing most of those things. I am very involved on campus because I enjoy connecting with others and I am dedicated to building my empire in this world. Sometimes it seems like a small world on campus and it is easy to get caught up in the lifestyle of a college student. People think they are not in the real world yet, but how we spend this time matters. At the end of your four years, what are you most likely to have accomplished? Personally, I can take pride in my high GPA, my professional experience, my connections on and off campus, and the growth I have experienced.
Embrace your full self and do things that honor you as well as others. Take time for what is most important to you and remember to continue to dedicate time to what makes you feel good and increases your overall confidence.
"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
