Jello Is Not As Innocent As It Seems

Jello: A Not-So-Innocent Childhood Snack

An open letter to jello on its merits and its rise and fall from delicacy stardom


Jello. You sexy, sexy gelatinous dessert. Damn I'd love to hit that.but Bill Cosby probably already did, back when he was the spokesperson for your company in '74. That's besides the point though. Let's talk other history.

You've been around for quite a while, but you really took off in the decades after WWII, right? You were part of the generation of "easily made foods", a phenomenon encouraged by the synthesis of technological innovation and flourishing of American identity. It was that prepackaged, hot n' ready food craze that brought along glorious creations like SPAM, TV dinners, and of course, you.

Your nature as "America's Most Famous Dessert" made it so much easier for guests to be entertained by housewives, who chose to bedazzle you and dress you in the finest of toppings. Out of all the desserts of your time, you stood out as the most delectable of them all. I mean, who else could've fit oh….so….much…?

The possibilities are endless. Sure, your salad is unconventional. Some do prefer it tossed. But somehow manage to be so creative with how you decide to fill yourself up. Carrots, cherries, assorted just love to fit whatever you can into you jiggling mound.

It's not your fault, of course, that you've taken up this role. It was the same housewives who popularized you, molded you into what you are today. They saw your convenience, a trait characteristic to inventions of this period, and used you to seal their leftovers in creative bulges.

There, you found your identity as "Jello Salad." You were elegant, somehow considered high class. The way in which you preserved "last night's dinner" in pristine, colorful folds was undeniable attractive to women of all statures.

You acted as a catalyst for them to put effort into their cooking. Seeing that instant foods like you destroyed the entire purpose of women, to be in the kitchen, where they belong, it just wasn't right. So that's why your stuffed image became so quintessential to families in the 50s to 70s. They were able to find convenience and save their image as respectable housewives at the same time.

"There's always time for Jell-O" and "There's always room for Jell-O." were popular phrases, promoting yourself as the "perfect light dessert for after a heavy meal." Women also used your sugar free version to diet, something quite questionable, considering your nature as boiled down animal cartilage.

Maybe this is why you've since shifted from being the star of the dining table to being the side to a kiddy meal. Your nature as something that brought America's populations together got lost somewhere in the middle, disappearing beneath the frays of other acclaimed desserts. But don't worry. You'll always have a place in my heart, Jello.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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