Growing up, I was raised to believe that everything that occurred happened for a reason. For some, this is a calming belief. The thought that a power greater than ourselves controls all that occurs brings peace to many. For someone like me, though, the though that there was a reason behind everything drove me crazy. For years, I'd spend every waking moment searching for the reason behind something happening. It brought immense amounts of stress into my life. Finally, one person told me something that changed my thinking.
The summer after my sophomore year, I had accepted an internship at a country club in New Jersey. While working at this club, I became friends with a caddie named Fast Eddie. We would have deep conversations after work while enjoying some pizza on the practice green. I told him how I was always stressed out about the reasons behind why everything happened. That's when he said five words that I have taken to heart.
"It is what it is."
So simple, yet so complex at the same time. On the surface, it appears to be a simple phrase said by someone that is too lazy to understand why something happens. The deeper meaning that Fast taught me, however, is what really brings it all together.
Things happen in life that you can't control. Hanging onto the occurrence will just lead to unneeded stress. Accepting that it is what it is and that you can's control it will lead to less stress and allow you to move on. The understanding of this helped me in the past couple years, and also led to me making another important realization.
I don't believe that everything happens for a reason.
The belief that everything happens for a reason stems from the notion that a greater power has laid out a life for us and all we are to do is follow the path ahead of us. I don't feel this way at all. We are put on this earth to make our own decisions and create our own paths through life. In turn, I have come to believe that, when something happens, there isn't a reason behind it. Stuff just happens that you cant control. The only thing that matters is how we react to, learn from, and move on from what happened.
This doesn't mean I'm not a religious person. Sure, I don't conform to any specific Christian religion, but I believe in God. What separates me is my belief in how He interacts with our lives. Simply put, I don't believe He does at all. It is up to us to make a life for ourselves. Hanging on every little whim and trying to find a reason only hinders our abilities to move on and succeed in life. Stuff happens for no reason all the time, just accept that it is what it is and move on.
