It's okay to not be okay.
We hear that phrase a lot. We hear that when we are in the midst of our worst circumstances and situations. We say it to our hurting friends and we use it as captions on our photos on Instagram.
But what does that mean?
I had a friend text me this in the middle of a bad week. I was so very thankful for her words of truth, but at the same time I was trying to process what it really means to be okay with not being okay. It was something I heard so often and even spoke over. Does that mean I just forget my circumstances and what I'm feeling? Do I just pretend that everything is fine and dandy and never speak about it again? As I was thinking about this, the bible verse Exodus 14:14 came to my mind.
The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still.
This verse has been one of my favorites for a long time, but I never truly let it reign over my heart until the moment I really wasn't okay. Being okay with not being okay means to not feel the need to mask my emotions. It means letting yourself be vulnerable in your darkest moments and not feeling the need to cast them away. It means letting the people around you pour into the barren places of your heart even though you aren't able to fully accept the truth quite yet. I think the reason why it's so difficult for us to be okay with not be okay is because we live in a society where there's constant pressure to "fake it till you make it". This is one of my least favorite phrases that this society as coined over time.
Jesus does want our fake. He doesn't want us to walk through life masking what we truly feel and pretending everything is okay. He tells us to come as we are, even if that means we're merely crawling towards Him. God is a relational God. He wants to hold us in our darkest moments just as your friends hold you. He wants to accept you as YOU, no matter what the circumstances are. In our moments when we are the most weak, the enemy of our soul will lead us into thinking that God is distant, that He doesn't want anything to do with us and that our weak sighs are not good enough.
God rebukes these lies and calls us to come to Him when we are unable to speak words. He wants to fight for us.
How do we let Him do that?
Just by being you, right now. Sitting in your room, in a coffee shop, in your best friends living room. He fights for us even when you become still. If someone were to physically fight for you, would you jump into the fight and try to defend yourself? No. You stand still and let them defend you and fight for you. You don't do a thing. That's exactly what it means for God to fight for us. He does it every minute of everyday, we're just not always aware of it.
So friends, if you're in a place of life where you are most definetly NOT okay, it's okay. It's okay because Jesus is stronger than our circumstances and He fights our battles for us. We're allowed to not be okay because of who He is, and that's a pretty solid truth that we can hold on too.