Underage drinking is a huge problem in North Dakota, for some pretty obvious reasons.
For one, there’s really nothing to do. Every town is a small one (except for like, probably six of them), and the only things open after 10 o’clock in said small towns are the bars and the convenience stores.
Second, pretty much nobody cares. There’s a sheriff (a sheriff) I know that if he catches you drinking and you're underage, he won’t give you a minor, but he will make you call your parents and tell them what you’ve been doing (which is usually way more effective than receiving a minor). Also, most parents know that their kids are going to drink, and they’d rather they do it in the house with supervision, or at the very least, know where they are and who they're with.
My parents, once I turned fifteen and got my license, sat me down and told me that they don’t give a rip if I drink (as long as I do it safely), but that if I ever drink and drive, I’m never seeing the light of day again whether I get home safe or not. They also told me that if I get pulled over, I can sit in jail for as long as they’d keep me because they sure as hell would not be picking me up.
I honestly believe that I don't want to drink because of my parents telling me that I can. I know a lot of kids my age that started drinking just to spite their parents, and if mine had been of the helicopter variety that doesn't let their kids do anything, I probably would also have started drinking to spite them.
Although I’m OK with not drinking, for some godforsaken reason a lot of other people aren’t. When I get invited places, I generally try to scope out the situation to figure out if it’s my scene (read: little to no alcohol involved) and decide whether or not to go based on that, but when I don’t, I often have conversations that go like this:
Them: “Here! Drink this!”
Me: “Does it have alcohol?”
Them: “Well, duh. It’s no fun without it.”
Me: “No thanks, I don’t drink.”
Them: “WHAT?! Why not?”
Here’s where I have a decision to make. I have a handful of excuses that I keep at the ready if I’m being pressured into drinking, and I try to pick my excuse based on the situation I’m in.
“I’m on meds that shouldn’t be mixed with alcohol” is my current favorite, because 1. it can be used in pretty much every situation, 2. it’s true (so I don't have to lie), and 3. people usually don’t keep pushing after this one. Yeah, they want me to have fun (in what seems like the only way they know how), but I'm assuming that they also don’t want me to die, so they’ll usually say something along the lines of, “Well, more for me then!” and prance away, alcoholic beverage in hand.
“My grandma was an alcoholic and I know it sometimes runs in families, so I don’t want to risk that” isn’t quite as effective, but I can usually drag the conversation toward talking about my family instead of alcohol and they’ll forget that they even asked in the first place. I don’t like using this one because it feels like I’m airing out my family’s dirty laundry, but it’s my go-to in select situations where I know that it’ll be accepted without question.
“There are just other things I’d rather do than drink” isn’t one that I usually use in a setting where alcohol is involved but is the one I use when people are talking about their drunken escapades and are all, “You know what I mean, right?” and I have to say, “No, actually, I’ve never been drunk,” and then a version of the above conversation ensues, but this time my reasoning was given beforehand.
“I don’t want to” is the one that I don’t use as much as I should. I’m a firm believer in the idea that I don’t have to explain my choices to anybody because they’re not decisions for anybody else to make — they're mine. For some reason, though, this one always seems to prompt an explanation. I don’t know if it’s because they feel attacked for someone being so open about making the decision that they did not, or if it’s because they think I’m a prude and are trying to get me to drink by arguing all my reasons (which, for the record, is beyond frustrating and usually results in me going home) because they’re not good enough for them.
The real kicker is this: when I bring up the idea that I don’t have to explain myself to anyone, they usually take offense. I don’t know why, and I don’t want to know why. I just want my decisions to be respected even if they’re against the norm in which I grew up in.
Some might say to simply avoid situations in which there’s going to be alcohol, but why should I have to? I shouldn’t have to become even more of a homebody than I already am just because I don’t drink. I don’t go places in an attempt to make people feel guilty about their decisions, I go places because I want to be with my friends. My decision in no way affects yours, so all I ask is that it's respected without argument.
On my favorite, but unfortunately rare, occasions, people will say, “Alright, I respect that,” and change the subject. This is the reaction I think I should always get (I’m not judging you for drinking, so why should you judge me for not?), because like I said before, it’s my decision — and I just don’t want to.
