Is Being Too Selfless A Bad Thing?
Politics and Activism

Is Being Too Selfless A Bad Thing?

No one ever wants to be seen as "weak."

 Gabrielle Dawe
Oct 03, 2016
West Chester University
9115
Big Think

You would never think there would be such a thing, as "too" nice, since we are always taught in elementary school to treat others' how you would like to be treated. Not only that, but there are some people in this world, like myself, that always bend backwards for other people because you like to see them happy and try to be the best friend you can be. As well as, you don't always expect to get something in return, but it would be nice sometimes. Giving, giving, and you keep on giving is something that makes people who have a big heart, feel happy and warm inside. It can feel like the most rewarding thing in the world, seeing someone with the biggest smile on their face, when you do something nice for them. It is something that special people have who do this, sometimes we are too selfless, and should almost be more selfish. Although it is such a wonderful thing to be extremely generous and giving, there comes a point where you need to know where to stop. I didn't say stop doing nice things for others' and being a good person, but know your limits sometimes.

1. Learn to Not Get Taken Advantage Of.

This is the number one thing, when you are too giving you are expected to be there no matter what. Yes, you usually will be there no matter what, but people shouldn't expect things of you that you do not want to do. You should be someone's' first priority not their second. Whether that be a friend, family member, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. They know if they call you, you will be there in a heartbeat. No matter who called whether it was your best friend or a friend you haven't talked to in 5 years, you would be there in two seconds if something bad happened or they needed you. You love helping people, and being there for them; and that is a true beauty in itself. Although, make sure you know what is right, and make sure you aren't being used or walked all over. People can be very manipulative and that is definitely not healthy for you and you should put some limits on yourself. Make sure people aren't assuming that you are just going to do something for them.

2. You Will Develop Unrealistic Expectations of Others'.

Meaning, that you personally do not understand why people can be so mean and cruel to one another. In the sense, you do not fully get how people can hurt people the way they do, or why certain people can be so selfish. Make sure you are keeping an open mind, because not everyone is as giving and loving as you, and don't get frustrated at the fact on why they aren't, everyone has a different way of looking and living in their own life.

3. Do Not Forget About Being Kind to Yourself.

Therefore, meaning that when you spend all of this time helping and doing this for others, even though it brings you joy, do not forget to do things that make YOU happy. Life is precious, and yes doing things for others' is great and all, but it is YOUR life. Respect yourself. You do not want your life to pass by, while you were too busy jumping bridges for everyone else. So make time for yourself, go on a run, or go treat yourself and go shopping. Do things that you like to do, and appreciate yourself.

4.You Are Seen As Weak.

No one ever wants to be seen as "weak." Being too nice can, a lot of the time, make you come off that way, and in reality you are the furthest thing from that. You are actually one of the strongest people in the world through all the obstacles you have gone through in life, and that is why you do things that you do for others'. Because you want to give back and want to see the things that you do for people, bring you enjoyment and pure happiness. Do not be seen as weak, and be seen a strong, confident, and independent.

5. Be Assertive and Stand Up for Yourself.

This is one that has always been hard. You hate confrontation and just want everything to go smoothly all the time. You are the one always stuck in the middle of every situation. You are treated like, "you are always going to be there," when it gets to a point where you break and you aren't always going to be there. So, stand up for yourself. If you do not think something is right or you are being treated poorly, stand up for yourself because in the long run if you sit back and do not say anything, it gets you nowhere and you are then stuck wondering what would've happened if you did say something. Being assertive doesn't mean being mean or condescending, it shows confidence and believing in what you believe is right.

Being too nice does go a long way, and is EXTREMELY rewarding, but take these points into consideration while you do the actions that you do.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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