I'm not going to lie, I'm an introvert.
I shy away from social situations because they make me uncomfortable. I literally will go out of my way to avoid parties because of the large crowds and social awkwardness. But, I still went to college about an hour and a half away from home, which requires public transportation.
So what do I do? I take the train, even though it terrifies me.
I have been using public transportation for as long as I can remember. The bus, the train, the subway, whatever it may be. I've been parasailing like twice as well, does that count?
Anyways, what I will be talking about is the NJ Transit and the LIRR. When public transportation comes to mind, what do you think of? Personally, I think of chaos. I think of germs and strangers crowding me, which inevitably is what happens.
My stuff is the skateboard and the blue duffle bag, there is was little to no room on the train.
Given that this picture was taken on one of the busiest transportation days of the year (Passover/ Good Friday/ Easter), this was not a shock. At this point, I have taken an uber, three trains, and walked a mile to get home at least five times since starting college, so I'm used to it. This has no negative reflection on me or anyone who takes the train. It's the station that gives me the most anxiety.
I mean, can you blame me. I was shaking in my clothing wondering if I would transfer to the right station and end up on the wrong side of Long Island again.
But then I play the waiting game. This consists of, but are not limited to the daggering questions such as: Where are all these people going? What are in their bags? Am I being nosey or observant? I wonder what they are thinking about me...and DO NOT even get me started on those "mind the gap" announcements. They get me nervous. How can someone fall into this? It is so obvious to not walk next to the tracks. It got me think, though. How often has this happened? What if I get pushed? What if it actually happens a lot and I fall? How would I get out? Would I make it? And so on...my mind is literally a non-stopping machine in these moments of crises.
So I take the train a lot. I have to go on three different ones to get from school to home, and vice versa. Sometimes I go on the subway, but that scares someone who is an introvert. Part of navigating public transportation is to ask people for help. People are there to help, right? It's literally their job. But, for some reason, being an introvert just restricts you from this.
I have gotten over my fears of getting lost, but my heart does skip a beat or two when faced with this overwhelming crowd of strangers moving at the speed of light to get to their destination.