Problems With Being An Introvert
Start writing a post
Health Wellness

As An Introvert In Need Of A Listening Ear, Please Stop Advising Me Like I Need Help


It's okay to listen and not give any advice because sometimes that's all that we ask for.

235
Unsplash / Andre Hunter
https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1495214319157-7413c7885f0e?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMDd9&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1050&q=80

I think being an introvert is great. I've accepted that it is part of who I am, but don't mistake that statement as saying that there are downsides to it. I have many problems with being an introvert, but I've learned to accept them, even if they won't be fixed. I don't expect those who aren't introverts to understand.

I'm an introvert, which mostly means I'm shy, anti-social, and struggle to tell others about myself. It takes a while for me to open up to people. I'm quiet and get uncomfortable when I'm with large crowds.

As an introvert, I struggle to tell others, including close friends, about my problems. Why? Because I'm scared they won't listen. I'm not trying to get you to understand. I'm not asking for sympathy or pity. I'm asking you to listen. It's already exhausting keeping a mask on 24/7, don't make it harder by comparing our problems. Don't make it harder by not listening for two minutes. I know we aren't going through the same thing. The hardest thing you went through will not be the same as the hardest thing I went through, especially considering if I'm an introvert and you're an extrovert.

So, why keep a mask on 24/7 if you want people to notice? Because I don't see the difference anymore. If I feel like venting, I'm held back with the idea that no one's going to listen or they're going to give me advice. There won't be any difference from when I keep the mask on or off because both ways when I'm trying to vent, I'm going to be given advice instead of someone who is willing to listen.

We can all agree on the fact that when something is wrong, it's hard to tell people. It takes courage and strength and hope to tell someone. This is just a general fact.

It wasn't too long ago where I met up with a few friends and we decided to hang out in one of our houses. They were all chatting and I was laying on the bed about to fall asleep. The next thing I know is that one friend is talking to the other friend about what's been going on. From that, we somehow ended up on the topic of how extroverts have to keep a mask on 24/7. I was sitting on the bed just listening and staying quiet. I had no intention of interrupting them as they vented out their problems. Then they turned towards me. At first, I didn't want to tell them, mostly because I was scared of how they will take the information. Let's just say, I wish I never told them what I'm going through and how I deal with it because I left my friends house feeling worse than I already was.

Let's take two people. Person A is an extrovert and has a problem and Person B is an introvert who also has a problem. Now, when this problem starts affecting both of them, who do you think will be noticed first. It will be Person A. Why? Because when an extrovert becomes quiet it's unusual, so people ask if somethings wrong. This gives Person A a nudge to tell someone what's wrong. Now, let's take to the other side. When Person B becomes quiet, who's going to notice? No one. When we are going through struggles and want someone to see it because it hurts too much to tell, who's going to notice? Not many people. Which makes our struggle to tell others harder, because we don't have that nudge to encourage us to tell someone.

I have my own struggles that I go through, but when people try telling me that it's harder for them, I start to think they don't care.

The point I'm trying to make is that yes, extroverts have problems and I understand that and I really do, but at least people notice when your mask comes off and ask if you're okay. I want to be able to rant to someone without getting advice and lately, that's something that's hard to do.

I'm tired of trying to force people to listen, so I just bottled it up. I want people to understand that just because we are introverts, or quiet or shy, doesn't mean we aren't hurting or in pain. It doesn't mean that we aren't suffering or going through a rough patch. It's just harder for us to tell people. So, keep in mind, whether you are an extrovert or half of both or an introvert, it doesn't mean our problems are the same. Like I said, your most difficult time will not be the same as mine. So once in a while, we someone asks for you to listen, don't fight back, don't compare your problems to theirs, don't try to understand. Just listen. It helps a lot more than you think.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

50652
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

32393
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

955654
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

180723
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments