I was never a shy kid by any means. I've always been dramatic, but I've generally always been a people-person. I was always that kid that was in the center of every photograph with a giant goofy smile. Still, I can't really ever take a serious picture. I don't think there's anything wrong with it and I don't plan on changing any time soon.
For some reason, however, I never really had that many friends.
I wasn't shy, but I never found a group of people that I felt truly comfortable with until my senior year. It was really hard for me to go out to parties and not want to leave immediately after. At my junior prom, I only talked to my date the entire time.
Still today, parties are pretty much the last place I want to be. I have a lot of friends, but I'd honestly rather hang out in the city or go to the beach than be shoved in a tiny house with bad music and too many people.
Of course, I thought there was something wrong with me. I was (and still am) a teenager that doesn't like parties. Until my sophomore year of high school, I only had about two friends. After that, I've switched friend groups pretty much every single year since then. High school is really hard, and it's hard to change because you're stuck with the same people in the same building for all four years.
I never really got along with people so much that I wanted to spend a lot of time with them until my junior year. Even then, my friendships didn't really last all that long because things always ended up changing for one reason or another. My senior year, I finally found my best friends. I still talk to them all the time even though we go to different schools, but it breaks my heart that I only had a year to spend with them.
I never really thought I was social until I got to college.
If you told me my sophomore or junior year of high school that I would be a public relations major in college I would have called you insane. I genuinely didn't like to be around that many people. I did choir and I've had the same best friend since I was seven, there's no way I would choose a career field that solely relies on how I interact with people.
The real problem was that I was never in an environment that was good for me.
I'm still that weird little kid that was probably screaming or singing at the top of my lungs. If you asked any of my friends at college, they would honestly tell you that I have a strange talent for carrying on a complete conversation by myself.
When I told my roommate that I was writing this article, she responded, "There's no way you're an introvert. You're a psychopath, but you're my psychopath, so it's OK." I wasn't an introvert; I was just never really happy until I was able to move away from my hometown and away from people that I didn't really get along with.
When I did move, I had that cliché college experience where I found my best friends and now I live with them and my circle has widened extremely. I have people in my life that love me for me, not the me I think I should be. It feels amazing to know that I always have a place where I'm safe and can be completely myself.
I still have my close friends, but I was confusing being shy and insecure with just being around people that didn't really understand who I was or what I wanted out of life. I really am an extrovert, it just took a while to find my place.
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