I’ve been thinking a lot recently. A lot about how things have turned out, where I am today, and how much has changed in such a short period of time.

I like to think that if I had changed one thing, even if it had been to take another glance, or to choose a different meal one day - that my life could be completely different than it currently is.

And as much as I’d like to know what would be different had one little thing changed, I know that there are certain things that have to happen - certain things that have to end.

Those things aren’t always easy to accept, or to move on from. Sometimes it takes days, weeks, months, years.

However, no matter how long it takes, eventually we all come to the same conclusion: I’m over it.

So that’s what I’d like to share with you, I’m over it.

I’m over the idea of not being good enough because I’ve suddenly lost something I thought would be irreplaceable. I’m over the mindset of being less of myself, because suddenly this thing, this idea, is no longer in my picture. I’m over it.

I’m over the fact that I used to cry to myself, because I thought that I would never be able to look in a mirror without having the validation the concept of me being wanted, had given me. I’m over the notion that without this, I would never be able to achieve certain things. I’m over it.

For the longest time, I felt that I would never be able to say those words, and for the longest time I prolonged saying them because saying them meant giving up years of my life. It meant admitting that the thing I had fought so hard for, had stopped fighting for me.

I devoted so much of my energy into contemplating why this had happened, why was something that seemed so perfect, so detrimental, why was I unable to be happy with the idea of this concept being over, why why why.

I told myself that I’d allow myself to have hope until my birthday. That I’d allow the year to come full cycle, until I let that idea go, with the idea that I’d never be 18 again. I let myself start my new year of life without this concept, or this idea, holding me back.

It took awhile, but I’m finally here.