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Politics and Activism

I'm Not Sorry

I replaced my sorry's with thank you's.

Madeline Raineri

Apr 17, 2017

Lindenwood University

Pexels

For a long time, sorry slipped out of my lips almost constantly.

"I'm sorry for this..."

"I'm sorry for that..."

But then I stepped back and realized, am I truly sorry? And what inside of myself am I so unsure of that makes me feel the need to consistently apologize for being true to myself? This "sorry" epidemic has devalued the word sorry to just pieces of sad confetti lying dirty and wet on the ground because they don't mean anything to anyone.

When I took inventory of my own life, I came to the conclusion that I am not sorry.

I'm not sorry I poured my heart into an endeavor that backfired and broke me.

I'm not sorry I made poor decisions regarding friendships and ended up hurt, leaning on others for support.

I'm not sorry I wear my hair to wild or dye it wild colors.

I'm not sorry I have piercings or tattoos, or sometimes only have the motivation to wear sweatpants.

I'm not sorry for making mistakes, going the wrong way, or throwing caution to the wind.

I'm not sorry for creating a life I love.

I'm simply not sorry. Because my life is not an apology.

The moment I realized that my life isn't something to be sorry about and my existence isn't a burden, I replaced my sorry's with thank you's.

Thank you for letting me bask in my glory as I am, and loving me nonetheless.

Thank you for supporting me when my world crumbled and I was left with nothing but a bruised heart and salty tears.

Thank you for giving me another chance to show you my heart.

Thank you for teaching me invaluable lessons about life and love.

Thank you for validating my thoughts and caressing my mind with new and exciting knowledge.

Thank you for opening doors, windows, and breaking ceilings to help me succeed.

Thank you for lending your arms and your ears when you didn't have to.

Thank you for warming your hands to heat up my heart.

Thank you.

I am not sorry for taking up space and roaring into the wind like the strong and independent woman I have become. I am not sorry for abandoning toxic relationships in order to preserve my sense of self-worth. I am not sorry for choosing myself, and I will continue to shamelessly choose myself every day for the rest of my life. Thank you for accepting me, wholly loving me, and allowing me the space on this planet to traipse languidly through life, leaving a trail of glitter wherever I go.

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I'm Not Sorry

I replaced my sorry's with thank you's.

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I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

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There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

A bad day at the lake is still better than a good day not at the lake.

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You have no patience for the guy who can't back his trailer into the water right.

Doing the friendly wave to every boat you pass.

The cooler is always packed, mostly with beer.

Giving the idiot who goes 30 in a "No Wake Zone" a piece of your mind.

You have no problem with peeing in the water.

You know the frustration of getting your anchor stuck.

Watching in awe at the bigger, better boats that pass by.

Knowing any swimsuit that you own with white in it is best left for the pool or the ocean.

The momentary fear for your life as you get launched from the tube.

You're able to go to the restaurants by the water wearing minimal clothing.

Having unexpected problems with your boat.

Having a name for your boat unique to you and your life.

There's no better place you'd rather be in the summer.

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