Its really hard sometimes to not be perfect but in reality nobody is perfect. I struggle with this a lot I dream of what perfection would be like. I dream of what it would be like to be the perfect daughter, friend, and person. Along with aiming for perfection I also feel like I've let the world down if I can't do something
this summer I worked at A bible camp a few hours away, during my time at camp I was a leader in training working along with another staff member. I gave a devotion the 3rd night of camp and for someone who's really bad at talking in front of people it was hard. My devo related to this topic in so many ways. My devo was about how sometimes we don't recognize how much God loves us even though we are not perfect. God made us all to be unique creations, it doest matter what people think because God loves Everyone. He doesn't judge us for our flaws and he believes we are beautifully and wonderfully made by him.
Even though most the times I know God loves me being 17 and living with imperfections is hard. I have messed up in life many times in life. sometimes I wake up not feeling pretty enough skinny enough and not good enough most days. I've transffered from public to online school to Finnish up credits I've missed faster. Because I transferred I now have very little friends.
A few weeks ago I was running a Handheld camera at my church for student ministries. I thought it was gonna be amazing to run the camera cause the more I ran it on Wednesdays they would let me run one on a weekend. that day I came to church really excited to run the camera. The first service I got a few bad shots I was still a little new at it and I was standing on an auditorium seat because I wasn't tall enough to see over the heads of the middle schoolers so I didn't get too hard on myself that time. The second service I ran it for high school so I told myself before the services I had to get perfect shots. everything went downhill from there I put so much pressure on myself.
Since the day I realized its okay to get bad shots sometimes im not perfect and never will be. I have my own imperfections like everyone else has theres. I may not love myself all the time but I know deep down inside God loves me and all my imperfections. there are some things I can't control, I've learned to just be myself and starting today i'm gonna be grateful for all god has given me because inside I'm perfect to him.
I may not be perfect but each and everyday I will work towards growing my relationship with God and loving myself!
