I have been struggling with my mental health since my junior year of high school. In January of 2015, I was diagnosed with a major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. Things have seemed to slowly creep up on me over the years. I am not the same "happy Grace" as I once was. I have never truly been 100% honest about my symptoms and feelings to anyone, not even my therapists. I know how I am "supposed" to think and feel, and often don't convey how I really feel to others. A few weeks ago, I found myself in the emergency room due to my mental health. This was a huge wake up call for me -- I realized then that even though it was going to be hard, I needed to be completely honest to the counselors, psychiatrists, and doctors that were trying to help me. Along with my anxiety disorder, I was then diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder. Those words hit me hard. All mental illnesses have a negative stigma, but bipolar really has a bad rep. Bipolar is a word that is too easily thrown around; it is often used loosely used as an adjective to describe anyone who may be "moody". When I found out about my diagnosis, my heart sunk in my chest. It made me think of all the times, particularly in high school, that people had called me "bipolar" in a condescending way due to my mental health issues. They told me I was crazy. They told me I'd end up in a mental institution. They told me I was bipolar. I have always been terrified of that word, so finding this out has been hard for me. As some of you may know, since I began seeking treatment for my mental health issues, I have become very passionate about mental health and have turned much of my focus to pageants for advocacy about mental illness as well as voicing my struggles. I have, since then, been somewhat open about my struggles on social media as a part of my personal platform and passions. I have received a lot of positive feedback from it, and knowing that I help others fills my heart. A few weeks ago (October 7th-13th) was Mental Illness Awareness week. Normally during mental health days, weeks, or months, I try to make a post on my personal or my title's Facebook advocating for mental health awareness. This time around, I felt that I could not. I have always been open about my struggles with depression and anxiety, but after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I did not feel comfortable doing so. I didn't want anyone to know. I was ashamed and terrified of what my friends and the world would think when they found out. Furthermore, I felt like I would be lying to continue to say I have depression when it is in fact bipolar disorder. Even though the two go hand in hand, they are definitely not one in the same. It has taken me a while, but now I am here to take a stand. I share this with hopes that this will help others, and to also further remove the negative stigma of mental illness farther than just the depression and anxiety spectrum. I am bipolar. I have a hard time managing school, relationships, and even normal day to day activities. I have anxiety. My brain never shuts off from the constant worries, panic, and stress. I take 4 medications daily to help manage my illnesses. But that is okay. Let's take a stand to advocate for ALL mental illnesses. Let's make people feel okay about voicing their struggles and reaching out for help. Let's help people to not be ashamed of a diagnosis and then want to further dismiss it. Mental illness does not discriminate. ALL mental health matters. The only thing that is more exhausting than having a mental disorder is pretending that you don't. It is okay to not be okay. — Grace