Recently I read an article, on the Odyssey titled "Sorry Virgins, But Never Having Sex Before Has Nothing To Do With Being A Good Person". In this article, the author painted an extremely one-sided and unrealistic image of what a virgin is. In her article virgins were judgemental, holy, pure, prudish, women who are quick to judge women who have *gasp* had sex before marriage. As this could be a very accurate depiction of some virgins, it was very unrelatable to me. Seeing virgins as slut-shaming bigots is just as bad as seeing someone who has had sex before as an immoral whore. Us women are much more complicated than these hurtful words and I think it's about time we stop the stigmatizing each other for what we choose to do with our bodies.
In my youth, I was taught that sex is a gift given by God to married couples. Although this is what I was taught, I believe that intimate connection is very special and that I might end up sharing this with someone before I get married. This being said, I am still a virgin and I do value that part of me. I've been mistreated by many boys in the past and when I look back on these moments, I am so grateful I didn't let them take my virginity from me, although they may have taken many other things from me. I feel so much sympathy to girls who have lost their virginity to someone who mistreated them or who have had it forcefully taken from them.
Everyone leads different lives and I think that's important for us to see. Instead of judging one individual for their experiences, why not create conversation? Not every virgin is saving themselves for marriage. In fact, some people have no desire to have sex at all. Asexuals are a small minority of the population and are almost invisible in the media. I consider myself to be on this spectrum of asexuality. I don't feel sexual attraction very often. I would only feel desired to have sex with someone that I have become extremely close with emotionally. To me, the emotional bond is more important than the sexual bond. I would never judge someone based on how they feel attraction. Attraction varies from person to person and instead of denouncing this, we should celebrate it.
The key is, everyone's experiences are different and I feel it's time we recognize that. Instead of condemning a woman's experience with sex or lack thereof, supporting one another is something that should be mandatory. As women, we are so much more complex than the statements "I'm a virgin" or "I am sexually active".
