I knew that I was being lied to. I literally knew it. And I am still pissed at myself for listening to what other people said vs. my gut. I am already sure I can guess what you are thinking. "Really Leanna? Always listen to your gut." Well, I kind of had this little fear that maybe this time my gut is wrong, but once again it wasn't.

The worst kind of people are the kinds of people that pretend to be good people but in reality they aren't. They are your "let me walk you to car" kind of people and your, "Do you need me to give you a ride?" when you drank way too much. The kind of people that don't have their warning labels printed. With those I guess you could say "wild" people you kind of know what you are getting yourself into. You kind of sign yourself up for self destruction (not saying it never works out the right way, but you know, track records speak for themselves). As far as I am concerned, it is really okay with me if you wanna be a shitty human being, but you could at least give a girl a warning so I don't invest in thinking you're some kind of "good person".

You see, my problem is this. I am mourning the recent loss of someone who I really thought was my friend. At points we were more than friends but ultimately, he was my friend. Someone I could go to with advice, someone that came to me. He was honestly one of my favorite people to talk to and I really enjoyed his company. You see, the thing is, I would pride myself on being friends with him. I would talk to him about everything. From our messed families to our favorite movies. My favorite quality about him was his ability to be brutally honest with me, even when it wasn't what I wanted to hear. Thats honestly why it sucked so much when I found out he told me a whopper.

First of all, let me start off by saying what he lied about really wasn't something that should have been lied about. It was something I already knew the answer to, but was going to give him the benefit of the doubt to be honest to me with. Can I get over what he did? Sure. Do I like it? Of course not but how can I be mad at someone for living their life and doing things to make themselves happy? But it is simple. You don't lie especially when it is to someone who you are supposed to be "friends" with.

There are two things that I can not stand:

1. Liars.

2. A liar that gets mad when you don't believe the lies they are telling you.

What I can't get over is the fact that he bold face lied to me. I think the part of me that is bothered most about it is the fact that he tried to convince me that I was crazy for thinking one way when really I was right all along. THAT IS TEXT BOOK MANIPULATION, PPL.

I wish I could figure out why he found it necessary to lie. Maybe he thought he was saving my feelings or maybe he thought I just would never find out. Nonetheless, it is much more of a shit storm now. Now instead of letting me dealing with the truth and moving on (which I would be way over by now because helloooo this was months ago),I know have to deal with the fact that my "friend" isn't really my friend at all. Maybe this is the only time he has lied to me. Maybe it isn't. Now it makes me question everything he has ever said even though chances are he meant them but. How am I supposed to be able to trust what he has said?

I haven't had the chance to tell him I know he lied. I have been sitting on it for a few days now hoping that my anger would go away a little bit before I have the chance to tell him. But unlucky for him, I am still just as angry.

I am just wishing he'd shown a little more of a warning. So I could have braced myself. It really isn't easy getting caught off guard by someone you think is "one of the good ones" when in reality they suck just as much as the rest of us. As much of a "friend" as I thought he was, "friends" don't lie to each other to save their own ass and most importantly, "friends" have enough respect for each other to be honest even if it hurts. Do me a favor, if you are going to claim to care about me and claim me as your friend, save yourself the trouble if you don't know how to tell the truth. All your doing is just wasting your breath so please don't waste my energy.

So, Here's to you my good "friend". Please, do me a solid and cancel my subscription to your issues.