Maybe this is just something that happens as you get older, but everything feels different this year. This Christmas doesn't feel like Christmas. This December doesn't feel like December. This new year doesn't feel new at all.
I feel like I've lost touch with so many people that I used to be so close to, whether it be family or friends. I feel like everything is different, but now it's just a big cycle. I really don't like it, but is this part of growing up?
I feel like I'm just going through the motions, but I can't get any emotions to surface. It's either happy, content, or just trying to become happy again.
The weeks fly by, but the days seem to drag on. What used to put me into a Christmas spirit easily doesn't affect me the same way. Now, I am making this feel a bit more dramatic than it is. I am glad Christmas is here. I am glad to have time to spend with my family and loved ones, but it just isn't the same.
Mariah Carey's Christmas songs can put me in the spirit, but it just doesn't make me feel how it used to. I haven't watched any Christmas movies, and Christmas is in five days. I didn't notice that until now, and I still have shopping to do! I feel like I haven't had a minute to just sit and breathe. Everything feels so tense and almost gray or lifeless.
As I write this, and if you are reading this, I feel like I am sucking the life out of Christmas. I don't mean to do this at all! I just don't feel like I used to. Everything used to be so colorful and vibrant. The idea of waking up with my siblings and checking what was surrounding the Christmas tree just isn't there anymore.
Hold on to your Christmas traditions and make your Christmas or someone else's Christmas special!
What will you be doing for Christmas?