Use Your Words To Release Yourself
Lifestyle

The Words Of My Life And How It Changed Me

The ink on a notepad and the sound of a keyboard clicking as the words spilled from her brain onto paper - tangible and raw.

31
https://unsplash.com/photos/GnvurwJsKaY

Despite everything - the expectations and the money and the desire to impress. Despite the plans and the effort put into another life, she knew now. She wanted to be a writer.

It was the only thing in her life that ever made sense. The ink on a note pad or the sound of a keyboard clicking as the words spilled from her brain onto paper - tangible and raw. She wanted to record everything. Whether it was the fear of forgetting her own life or the love of concrete, specific memories - she foraged on. Writing was safe, a haven for her thoughts without judgment. It gave her the things that she couldn't get anywhere else. The release it provided comfort even better than conversation. She didn't have to worry about being wrong, judged or interrupted. A sanctuary, the flow always came at just the right time.

Pen to paper, the keyboard bleeding each thought, spontaneity was the most beautiful part. Scribbling in an old notebook, falling in love with the stories - I learned pretty early on that I loved words.

Filling journals and making subject lines in the notes of my phone, it was the unforced part of my life. During the most painful times, I started book outlines. The negativity birthed creativity and words spilled out like dry sand. At the age of 20, I started a blog and 6 months later had enough hits to get a gig at a newspaper. It was one of the only things I didn't rush and because of that became the thing I loved most. It made me feel like myself.

Words are everything and they are everywhere. It's easy to underestimate their power, taking for granted how much letters can do. I was in middle school when I took my first try at personal writing. I remember being terrified that someone would find the notebook, tattered and completely filled, in the back drawer of my nightstand. It was filled with thoughts too intense for the eyes of another person and so, I kept it hidden. I was anxious about what people would think if they saw that side of me.

I had all these random exertions, things that happened to me, and some completely unrelated stories. Each one just seemed to hit me and in these moments, I couldn't think about anything else until I got it on paper. Writing was living - something I needed. It's ultra convenient to be obsessed with something you can always take with you.

To me, words are everything. I wouldn't be who I am without the release they provide, without the ability to account my experiences and the thoughts they create. Responsible for understanding my life, preparing for the future, finding true love, and portraying deep seeded anger. I loved their spirit - that they are forever fluctuating. That they market the world and market you - illustrating oneself has become a habitual advertisement. Whether we try to or not, everyone does it - student, athlete, dreamer, bum, boarder, realist, narcissist, believer, mother, teacher. We have these roles based on the actions we partake in and the words we use, how we describe ourselves, but also how others describe us.

I struggled a lot under the impression that I needed to establish an identity for myself. I wanted to be known for something and I always worried that I wouldn't find it, but I would later come to find that the thing I was too nervous to share, would become one that I was the proudest of. Writing was something that chose me. While it served as a fabulous hobby it also saved me in more ways than one. I used poetry, short stories, and journalling to process the turning points in my life. It taught me things that I would never have otherwise known and recording things I may forget let me read between the lines when the time was right.

Telling my story and the ones inside my head is the "most right" feeling thing I have ever known. The unexpected nature of my relationship with words and an ability to portray them gives me a sense of direction that I always craved - and this time without the need to prove myself. I don't question what I do when I write, and that is the greatest gift I could ever ask for.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Politics and Activism

4 Ways The Plan To Deport International Students Is Dumb, According To An Exchange Student

The whole policy isn't very stay-in-place, if you ask me.

Wikimedia Commons

On Monday, July 6, new federal guidelines were announced that do not allow international students to remain in the U.S. unless they are taking classes in person. Which, if you ask me, is stupid.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Naya Rivera Is Missing, And She Deserves SO Much More Than Being Labeled 'Big Sean's' Ex'

We are all sending prayers to Naya Rivera hoping she finds them so we can find her.

I woke up this morning looking to find Naya Rivera's name trending No. 1 on Twitter. I was reading all of everyone's prayers wishing to find her so she can be reunited with her baby boy who is only 4 years old.

Naya's son's name is Lord and the entire collective is hoping the Lord is with him right now. I'm a firm believer in the Fear of God, I hope all of Naya's love is protecting Lord right now.

Keep Reading... Show less

With the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic still surging in the United States, where we are averaging 50,000 cases daily, wearing a face mask has become even more important. Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation's top infectious disease expert, has stressed the importance of wearing a mask and is pleading Americans to take notice of the "disturbing" rise in cases. It would be common sense to listen to him, considering we are dealing with a virus that has a mortality rate higher than what we have seen with other viruses.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

10 Sex Toys You NEED To Turn Up The Heat This Summer

They say diamonds are a girl's best friend, but...

It's your fairy sex godmother back at it again and here to tell you that masturbating is an essential need, just like toilet paper.

It comes with so many benefits, besides cumming. According to the New York City Health Department, "you are your safest sex partner" during a pandemic, so why not use the best toys to get the job done? Shopping for the best fit can be tricky because there are a few factors to consider — whether it's the price point, experience, sound, and more.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

These 3 Smoothies Totally Cleared My Acne-Prone And Scarred Skin

How I drank my way to flawless skin.

With this summer being the first of its kind for most people to be in the midst of a global pandemic, almost everyone is beginning to have an overall focus on improving their health.

Keep Reading... Show less

Everyone remembers the first time they went to one of the Disney parks. Spinning in teacups and having Goofy wrap his arms around my 8-year-old self were some of my fondest childhood memories, and I'm surely not alone in that.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

These Superfood Beauty Products Show Kale And Matcha Work For SO Much More Than We Thought

Just another summer's day with a cold glass of kombucha on my face.

I've been vegan for about six years now, so a love for fresh vegetables and superfoods has now become a core part of my being. Don't get me wrong. I love my indulgent, creamy pastas and truffle fries more than anyone. But I keep most of my focus on eating clean and healthy so I can indulge guilt-free.

But I'd say about a large part of my diet has always, unknowingly, included superfoods. Being Indian, lentils, beetroot, garlic, ginger, and whole grains have been core essentials on the family dinner table since I could digest solid foods.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments