Last week, I experienced something that shook me to my core. I never imagined that I'd willingly do it, but I did. I now live to tell the story of what almost changed my life.
It was a rainy Thursday afternoon. I'd just finished working out and decided to use the momentum I gained from the workout to try something new. That "something" was coffee. Now people who know me well know that I hate everything about coffee. I hate how it looks, I hate how it smells, I hate the name of it and how it's spelled. So, this was a big deal.
As I took the long and dangerous two minute and 21-second walk across the street to the controversial coffee powerhouse known as Starbucks, three thoughts circulated my cranium. One thought was a text message that my friend sent me that instructed me to get the iced caramel latte, which was what I planned on getting. The second thought was my friend telling me that I was a disgrace due to an anti-coffee Facebook post. That brought a smile to my face because she was absolutely right.
The third thought that went through my mind was my mother's support when I told her what I was doing. I told her, "Mom, I'm going to go try coffee now." She gave such a supportive response. She said and I quote, "Okay." These thoughts gave me the courage not to turn around, but to try something new.
I got to the Starbucks and opened the door. When I walked inside, I looked around to try to see why people like this place. The lights were low and the menu was large and confusing. For a non-coffee drinker like myself, the menu looks like it was written in hieroglyphics. I didn’t understand the coffee lingo or the language.
I took a deep breath and walked up to the register. The barista, bless his heart, greeted me and asked me what I wanted. I told him that he would have to give me a second. Now, I knew what I needed to get – the iced caramel latte. But I decided to enhance my order.
"May I have a skinny, small, decaf iced-caramel latte?"
"Sure," the barista said. "Your total is $4.13"
There were two mistakes made in that interaction. Number one, I asked for a skinny, small decaf iced-caramel latte. I asked for the beverage to be skinny because I thought that meant small. Clearly, I had no idea what I was talking about. The second mistake, or "L" that I caught (as the young children are saying these days), was that I paid $4.13 for a cup of coffee. But I digress. On with the story.
I stood there and waited for my coffee. I did the typical millennial thing and pulled out my phone to snap a picture to share on the gram (also known as Instagram). Five minutes went by and my order was complete. The barista handed me my coffee and I went to sit down in one of the comfortable chairs near the window. The chairs were anything but comfortable, but that was okay. It didn't even bother me that my name was spelled wrong. I had this overpriced beverage that I hated and I was about to drink it, which was all that mattered.
Before I took a sip, I grabbed my iPod and played the song "Look At Me, I'm In Love," released in 1975. I fully realized that my whole life could change with one sip of this coffee. I could become a coffee addict and one day, write coffee columns for a newspaper.
I picked up the cup and took a sip of coffee. History was changed forever. Well not really.
With one sip, I then understood what "skinny" means in Starbucks terms. It means non-fat, sugar-free or to me at least, tasteless. With one sip, the fantasy of living in coffee-land turned to mush and I reverted to my original opinion, which serves as a fact: coffee is severely overrated.
Now granted, I have myself to blame for getting skinny. Instead of asking for a skinny, small iced caramel latte, I should've asked for a chubby one instead. Anyway, as I walked out of Starbucks with a wounded spirit, the song on my iPod changed from "Look At Me, I'm In Love" by the Moments to the classic hit from 1980 titled "Where Did We Go Wrong" by Jeffery Osborne and L.T.D. as the rain fell from the sky.
