Last night at 1:30 a.m., I couldn't get the urge to write out of my head.
My heart was heavy and sleep seemed like it wasn't an option. I think we can all agree that we all thought 2020 was supposed to be THE year. The year where everything seemed to fall into place. The year where things were supposed to get good. Instead, 2020 has been filled with a gross virus that shut down the whole world, hate and unfairness, breakups, deaths, natural and economic disasters.
Anything negative, you name it. If it hasn't happened yet in 2020, it probably will.
There has been so much change that has happened in my life in the past year and a half. From hitting complete rock bottom (thinking I was never going to be able to pull my head above water), completely losing myself and going out to forget about my problems, self-sabotaging (honestly I think I do this better than anyone else), and not being able to enjoy time with my friends, to fighting my relationship with God and blaming him for everything that was still going wrong, finding myself praying only when things would go wrong and I needed him but not when things were good, and packing all of my stuff up one day and moving 6 hours away from everything I've ever known.
I lost very important people to me, fell in and out of love, new jobs, new people, new places... Don't get me wrong, there has been so much good change also... like meeting amazing new people, going to an amazing school, switching to a major I fell in love with, getting two amazing puppies, getting my own apartment, getting a 3.8 GPA this past semester, paying off my credit card bill (hahaha this is an accomplishment), and so much more.
Change is inevitable and sometimes we hate to accept it.
With all that change going on, it was so hard to choose love. I had to accept and grow from everything that was happening instead of running from it. I learned that acting on situations won't get you anywhere, I've learned that you can't force things in life. I've learned that God will always be the one to hold you. I've learned that everything does happen for a reason, 100 percent. Don't get me wrong, I still make mistakes, I still struggle, but I am still growing.
With all that being said, please never stop choosing love.
I hope you choose love every day. Even if it would be so much easier to hate and to fight. Even if the world throws a million reasons at you to hate. Even if you hit rock bottom and feel like you can't breathe. Even if your heart aches and keeps you up at night. Even when your face is hot and you are raging with anger. Even when life's outcomes are making you feel like you can't go another day. I hope with every ounce of your being, you choose love... and you choose it over and over again.
I get it, life is SO hard. I am one of the people that will straight up admit that. Everyone struggles whether they want to admit it or not. People go through things you could never imagine EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Life throws you curveballs. I want you to choose love not only for yourself but for someone else also.
You never know how much of an impact you will have on someone's life. People need you, this world needs you. The smile that you give a stranger, holding the door for someone, buying your friend lunch, being present, your kindness. You never know how much someone needed that long hug or deep talk. God gives his battles to his toughest soldiers, and he sure doesn't put us through things we can't handle.
No matter how exhausting life gets, never stop choosing love.
No matter how wrong it decides to treat you, please never stop choosing love. No matter how fragile this life makes you, never stop choosing love.
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