This is honestly going to be me venting because I am really stressed right now and life seems to always be winning the race of time. I know I am young, and have my whole life ahead of me, and blah blah blah, but what if I don't?
That is not to be morbid, it's to say, if I were to die tomorrow, would I be happy with where I am at? With what I am doing? Right now, I go to bed at about one or two in the morning, having been in studio working on my architecture projects until then, and I wake up at 7:30 or 8 am and start working. If I am not working on homework, projects, or my portfolio, I am in meetings for an editorial team I am on, coordinating with a downtown business whom I am in charge of building furniture for (as a community service project), writing articles and keeping in touch with my other Odyssey writers, meeting with grad schools, or working on my youtube videos. Between all of these things, right now, I do not have time to cook meals for myself (I eat out all of the time), I do not go to the gym anymore (and I miss it), and I sit in front of my computer for basically 16 hours a day.
It is tedious. It is tiring. And sometimes I really question whether or not it is worth it.
I do love what I am doing, it all makes me happy. But so does spending time with my friends and family. So does traveling. So does learning more about photography and videography. So does just relaxing. Most of the time, my addiction to working does not even phase me, but when I want a day to do absolutely nothing, and start adding up all of my responsibilities in my head and the deadlines that live alongside them, I realize I do not have that option.
That is when the feeling of being overwhelmed kicks in. When I feel like I am wasting my time. When I feel like I am missing out on my life. It is a scary feeling, and when I am in the middle of it, in the back of my mind I am thinking about how I am wasting time while I am panicking.
Is that not the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard?
The point is to say, whatever you are doing, whether in school, or working, or being a parent, or just finding your way, it is going to be hard. No matter what it is, it will overwhelm you at times, because life has a way of doing that. But if most of the time, you do not feel rushes of happiness knowing you are doing what you love, or at least actively working towards it, then maybe you should rethink what, or who, you are giving your time to.
When you feel overwhelmed, look for your goal at the end of the tunnel, and if you do not even know what that goal looks like, then take a hard look at why you are overwhelmed, and make sure it is for the right reasons.
