I think it’s important for any artist whether they be a painter, musician, online article writer, what have you, to bare as many aspects of their soul as they can. It’s what separates good artists from great artists. I’m going to bare my soul and talk about some of the internal struggles I, and most likely many others, go through. I’m referring to love in this particular case. Whether it be people, TV, music, or any other outlet for one’s passion, love is arguably one of the greatest emotions living things are capable of. The problem arises when you sit back and realize you love so many things that you are aware of (and probably many more that you haven’t discovered you love yet) and question how there could ever be enough time to enjoy all the wonderful things the world has to offer.
Music is a really good example to start with when describing this feeling. I absolutely love music. There is an infinitely expanding amount of amazing music in the world with various genres, subgenres, and artistic talent. I have a very eclectic music taste (except for more recent country music, barf). Every type of music has a purpose it fulfills and there’s so much talent to be found in any style of music (granted the options for artistic talent vary quantitatively from genre to genre in my opinion). It’s really daunting when I want to explore music and it feels like there’s never enough time to listen to everything that I want to. I usually just end up questioning my existence and whether it’s even worth trying if I can’t find some sense of completion. Part of the problem also lies in the exponential amount of times I find myself binging on music I’ve listened to hundreds of times like old school Avril Lavigne or various other artists/bands because it’s safe and makes me feel at home. This same feeling applies to the also infinitely expanding amount of amazing television shows, movies, and video games out there (although I feel like there has been a lull in the amount of quality movies coming out).
The main point of describing all of this is talking about the internal struggle I and probably many others go through and how to deal with it. Like I said in the previous paragraph, it’s really daunting trying to accomplish everything you want to do. There is never enough time to do everything and I get really upset over this. I lie awake at night just hating myself because I don’t really feel any sense of completion. As for weighing out my feelings when it comes to this, it boils down to deciding whether it’s better to fail by not completing everything or to fail by not trying to complete anything at all. This probably sounds horrible, but it’s what I tend to think about at night when I can’t sleep among other existential crisis inducing events. I don’t really have an answer to this problem. I’m still working on it, but I think it’s important to lay everything out and leave room for a discussion to get more than my opinion on the situation.
