Working out has always had a strong presence in my life. I did cross country, track, and Crossfit in high school and loved being active every day. In high school, my focus was primarily on improving my endurance and personal bests, rather than weight loss or a certain look. Towards the end of high school, I developed an eating disorder that ultimately led me to taking a break from daily exercise. During my looong recovery period from my eating disorder, I intentionally did not make myself workout, unless I wanted to. This break was the best thing I've ever done and really allowed me to see how it's possible to be healthy, happy, and confident without being a slave to exercise.

Anyway, I eventually had a pull in my heart telling me it was time to go back to working out. This was scary at first because I didn't know what to do or exactly how to go about it. At first, I felt like I needed to workout again because I was starting to look at my body through a lens of hate and disgust. I felt like I had gotten so out of shape and needed to lose weight. I started working out again, but my mindset was all wrong. I was working out because I didn't like my body at that time. I was working out because I felt like I needed to change.

You may have already guessed...but this was not successful. I realized something really important from this. Working out on the basis of me not liking my body will not result in me loving my body more, wanting to work out, or enjoying my workouts. It was so easy for me to lose motivation or the desire to exercise because I would say, "Eh. I might as well not workout today because it's not like this one workout is going to change how I look."

Working out doesn't automatically or suddenly make you love your body, even though the idea of being smaller or more fit seems like it will.

This situation was so good because it taught me a really important lesson. After failing at working out consistently and not even enjoying it, I took a hard look at myself and knew this mindset needed a transformation. I learned how to workout from a place of love and enjoyment, rather than from fear and the desire to change. I switched my focus to a mindset of love, compassion, and care for my body. My mindset completely flipped. The first thing I did was fill my mind with TRUTH, and worked on changing my thought patterns and previous ideas of who I am. If your mindset is in the wrong place, this is the first thing you need to do. GO TO SCRIPTURE... and keep going to it!

The next thing I did was figure out how to LISTEN to my body and workout in a way that makes me feel GOOD. There is no sense in forcing yourself to do a workout that you don't enjoy or that doesn't make you feel well. You're not going to be consistent if you don't even like it. The next thing I did was tell myself, "OK, let's go to gym and do ______ for just 20 minutes." This sounds kind of silly, but it was so helpful for me! When I looked at exercising with a calm and doable mindset, it didn't stress me out or push me away from it. When I told myself to just go to the gym or go for a run for a short and non-intimidating amount of time, I ended up going for WAY longer than I expected. It can be really intimidating when you think you have to go to the gym for an hour and half to get a good workout, but that is just not true!

The final thing I did was change my "WHY." I changed my reason for working out from "I want to change my body" to "I'm doing this because I LOVE the body I have, I know I'll enjoy this workout, and I'll feel amazing afterward" (a little longer and complicated but you get it right?;)). I personally struggle with anxiety, and working out in this way helps tremendously. It legitimately puts me on cloud nine and transforms any funk or low mood I'm in. Working out isn't my whole world, but it makes my world a little sweeter when I do it from a place of love and enjoyment.

The post-workout high is sooo real. (I definitely suggest documenting it because it reminds you of how you feel post workout!)

Isabel Barganier