How To Thrive In An LDR

How To Thrive In An LDR

Let your S/O miss you a little bit.
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If you are a consistent reader of my articles you already know that I am part of a long-distance relationship. You might have even seen some of our #ShortyAndTheGiant Instagram posts. While I do not see myself anywhere near a couples counselor or the best girlfriend on the planet, my man and I have made it through 3 years of this long-distance nonsense. I would like to argue that we have not only survived in spite of the distance but thrived because of it. And while we may have made a few mistakes, here are some ways we did it right...

We talked about it beforehand. Being in a long distance relationship means that both people must put an effort in. They also both have to be on the same page, which is why it is important that you talk about what an LDR between you two will look like. This requires a lot of trust from both sides.

We scheduled a time to talk on the phone weekly. This might seem like an obvious tip, but it is not to be overlooked. There are several reasons to do this. The foremost reason is to stay up to date with your S/O. If you are dating, I am just gonna take a wild guess and say that you have a genuine interest in what they have been doing. Another reason to schedule a time to talk is that you will have something to look forward to every week.

We remembered "quality over quantity." When you do have the chance to see each other, remember just that. Quality time is always more important than the quantity of time. Go on adventures together, cook dinner, and listen to each other while you have the opportunity.

We gave each other space. Now, this might seem contradictory to the previous points, but I imagine that many LDRs have ended in part because there wasn’t enough space given. Trying to constantly contact each other will only cause annoyance. Let your S/O miss you a little bit. I guarantee it will be beneficial.

We got creative! Yes, it’s easy to wallow in the loneliness of an LDR, giving side-eye to every happy couple you see, so it's important to have a positive perspective. Most LDRs are not easy, but they give the opportunity to be creative. Maybe you don’t always need to communicate via text or call. I’m sure that if you both own the same type of gaming console you could also stay connected that way. My boyfriend and I have stayed connected by playing phone games. We also have sent each other cards in the mail, just because. This Valentine's day we challenged each other to buy the silliest gifts we could find. Now I am the proud owner of a stuffed animal sea otter with a monocle and top-hat and he has a snazzy pair of socks with hearts and my face on them! Maybe they are complete junk, but they brought us closer together.

That's how we have made three years of long distance work. We communicated (the best we could), set aside time to talk with each other, spent quality time, got creative, and still gave each other space. If I had to do it all over again, I would and I am confident that he would agree.


Are you in an LDR? Did you find this helpful? Let me know in the comments below!

Cover Image Credit: Sierra Murray

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7 Signals A Girl Will Try To Send You If She Likes You As More Than A Friend

Girls do subliminal things to show you her interest in you. Pay attention to these low key signs that she is shooting her shot.

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It is never easy when a girl has to fully admit her feelings to a guy she likes, so instead, she sends slight signals in hopes that he picks up on her hints.

1. She can't stop smiling at you

She is happy to talk to you and to be in your presence, the smallest things that you do make her want to smile. She can't control the happiness inside and it comes out in a great big smile. In her head, she is just thinking about how much she enjoys spending time with you and how much she likes you.

2. She hugs you with both arms

Side hugs are common, easy, and very universal. She wants to give you full body hug because to show you she feels different about you than any other guy. With a full body hug she can rest her face on your chest and this just brings the two of you closer.

3. She makes direct eye contact

Direct eye contact is always a great sign. This means she is fully aware of everything you are saying and she is completely interested.

4. She scans your face and lips

Upon talking to you, she begins to scan your face. In this moment she is appreciating your attractiveness and completely zoned out. Forget you said anything to her because she probably was not listening. If she is looking at your lips then she definitely wants a kiss.

5. She says "Oh my god, stahhhp"

The 'I'm mad at you, but I'm flirting with you' slogan. She is trying to be cute and pick a fight with you so you can two can play around. She's hoping this will lead to cracking jokes

6. She adjusts her clothing

She is fidgety when your around because she has feelings for you and is nervous. She wants to look her best with you around, so she is subconsciously fixing herself so that nothing looks bad.

7. She sends you cute snap chats

Silly, crazy, and just straight up ugly snap chats are for friends. If her selfies are , done each time, then she cares a lot about how you see her and she wants you to see her at her best. She is not always looking for a compliment, but throw one her way and you will make her day.

Pay attention to the signs a girl is sending. Her body language and behavior around all come together for an important message, she likes you! A lot.

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I Know That If We Can Make It Through Long Distance, We Can Make It Through Anything

Why long distance is the best thing to ever happen to me

Emi
Emi
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I don't.

It isn't.

There are parts of being in a long distance relationship that I never know if I will fully be able to articulate. The moment I said goodbye to my boyfriend when we left for college freshman year, I closed the door behind me as he drove away and just crumpled to the ground and sobbed. This sounds unbelievably dramatic, and I had never been an emotional person until this moment. However, the fear of the unknown was paralyzing. My best friend was about to live five hours away from me, I was going to be in a different time zone, and I didn't know when I was going to see him again. This was my first real experience where I felt like I had just lost someone I loved.

Of course, I didn't really lose him. But that moment, everything did change. I was forced to become independent and had to re-learn how to find happiness being alone. And boy, was I alone. The first few days after he left, I was still at home preparing to move to my school. I could hardly function. I barely ate, and I had never felt so drained of energy. Whenever I would play music and a song that reminded me of him came on, I could not help but cry. My parents physically dragged me to a "going-away" dinner, and I only spoke a few sentences the whole time. Again, this sounds ridiculously theatrical (and if I had not actually lived through it myself, I would agree). My first semester at college, I was the definition of lost. It took me a long time to find myself without my best friend by my side.

But gradually, things got better (and continue to). Now, our goodbyes are still sad but not quite so sloppy. I no longer feel empty without him. I have found my passions at school and with these discoveries have come people that share them. I have an established group of friends, I have a clear professional direction, and I have goals that feel achievable. Re-creating my identity outside of a boyfriend, while unbelievably difficult, has forced me to self-reflect on who I am as an individual and who I want to become.

Because I don't have a boyfriend around to spend weekends with, I spend all my time with my friends. I have time to dedicate to school, an on-campus job, and serving on executive positions for multiple organizations. My schedule is my own, and I can create time to go to the gym six days a week. I am able to get coffee with potential employers and explore the city of Indianapolis without worrying about canceling plans with my boyfriend. I have truly had an independent college experience, and I do not doubt that this has allowed me to become more involved and invested in my friends, my schoolwork, and my extracurriculars than I would have had we gone to the same school.

These are the things I try to remind myself of when we spend Valentine's Day, both our birthdays and almost every single weekend apart. This is what I force myself to think when he is missing from my sorority's formal, date nights, and philanthropy events. When my roommates spend the night with their boyfriends multiple days a week, I smile and say, "Have a good night!" I try not to envy their position too much because I tell myself that long distance has given me so many opportunities.

This is true. But I also miss him, all the time. One thing is for certain, long distance has made me a much stronger individual. I have learned how to find happiness outside of being with him. I have discovered more about myself the past few years alone than I would have had we been at the same school. I have fostered life-long relationships with my friends.

And, at the end of the day, I know that if we can make it through long distance, we can make it through anything.

Emi
Emi

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