Whether it's your best friend or your ex-love, 2020 may have us doing some serious moving on.
So, to state the totally obvious, 2020 came out of fucking nowhere. There have been fires, witches, conspiracies, and aliens and those are things many of us haven't been taking as seriously. Remember Australia being on FIRE? Yeah man, that was THIS year. Have you been feeling blind sided by the riots and wondering where this strong disdain for the American government even came from? Well then, less than a year ago, you probably didn't take thousands of people trying to storm area 51 as seriously as you should have. Honestly, 2020 has exposed and presented a lot of shit many of us didn't see coming, but that doesn't mean the signs weren't always there.
2020 forced me to start looking at things differently. And I don't just mean things like Karl Marx, climate change, and the American justice system (though super important), I mean things like the people I surrounded myself with and the relationships I cultivated in the past. My point is, maybe you've been feeling blindsided by the state of the world because you weren't paying close enough attention to the moments that led us here. And the same logic can be applied to a lot of the relationships we've had in the past. Maybe you're realizing someone wasn't who you thought they were or maybe you feel like the people closest to you don't see you for who you really are. Maybe you feel like people don't know the real you, maybe you feel like you don't fully know yourself. Maybe some of the relationships you've formed in the past are starting to change (hopefully for the better), or maybe leaving everything behind has you feeling like you don't know where to begin. My point is, things may be different now and though I hope you have found yourself happier than before, I can understand how it can be difficult to let go sometimes. Which is why I am now going to attempt an introspective guide on how to move forward. (Fyi: I have wrote about this before and that's because this, like a lot of things, can take time. It is still a work in progress so at the very least I hope this makes sense!)
The first step to moving on is realizing and accepting the role you played in your relationship(s). As always, it takes two to tango and that may sound pretty obvious, but sometimes it may take a little time to accept. As my old relationships ended, there were a lot of things I thought I didn't see coming. But as more time passed, I realized it was easy to see exactly where they came from and why I should have seen it coming in the first place. There were a lot of things I left unsaid and there were a lot of things I probably shouldn't have said in the first place. And just like everybody else, sometimes realizing how wrong you are (or were) really fucking hurts. Maybe you should have done things differently. Maybe you didn't understand. And that's okay, because sometimes (though maybe we should) you don't know any better. One of my favorite quotes is "The wisdom to know better comes by the awful grace of God." and I still don't think Aeschylus knew what a bar he was dropping when he said that shit. Realizing you are wrong hurts, but I am a firm believer that the pain that comes from it is what makes you want to do things differently in the future.
The second step to moving on is being open to receive new things. I know it can be tempting to want to go back to the past. Everything is so familiar and comfortable there after all. But you have to remember why the past led you here in the first place. You have to accept that things are different now and that's something that's never going to change. You can't forget what happened and you shouldn't even if you wanted to. There is a thin line between forgiving and forgetting and those two things can't always go hand in hand. This may not necessarily mean you're done with the person in general, but it's important to remember that just because you've changed doesn't mean they have to. Your future is always up to you, but I will say going back to the past can stop you in your tracks. When you go back to the past without moving forward, you're blocking yourself from forming new relationships and receiving new opportunities in the future. Personally, moving forward from the past allowed me to form even stronger bonds with the people closest to me while teaching me to be more open to starting relationships with people I've never met. It can be a little scary putting yourself out there and meeting new people, but that will only make you appreciate how strong the bond you form in the future becomes.
The third step to moving on is being happy and enjoying the present. Enjoy the moments you share with the people you love NOW. Get to know yourself more and take time to be alone. It can be so easy to want to wallow in the past or look eagerly toward the future, however focusing on either of those things takes time away from living the life you already have. Everyday can be filled with new moments you never want to forget, but only if you let it. And this doesn't necessarily mean trying to force everyday to be as fun and action packed as you want it to be, sometimes this can mean spending time by yourself because you feel like it because, let's be honest, it feels gooooood to be alone sometimes. Everyday (though a bit cliche) is a gift and we don't have any time to waste it. Be comfortable being uncertain about the future and if you're not, ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable in the first place. Honestly this is all I got right now. I might write a part 2 next week or maybe I'll write something entirely different, honestly it just depends on how my week goes but I am pretty excited to find out.
Keep it cool and take it easy: Sonna :)
P.S: if you don't already, try meditating that shit WORKS