Dear hurt heart,

You might describe it in these ways: "I don't like them because of what they did to me a few years ago." "Even though its been years, I want them to see how well I'm doing without them." "I want revenge." "I want them to get hurt like how they hurt me."

Resentment and bitterness follow us around when we don't forgive others. It just happens. And it's unfortunate because forgiveness is not easy.

I honestly think forgiving is one of the hardest things we as humans have to do. Forgiving someone feels so wrong, impossible sometimes when they have hurt you so deeply.

Yet, we are called to do it anyway.

When I hear stories of how people have been treated by others, sometimes I ask God questions like "You can't really expect them to forgive that, can you?!" Most of all I ask myself that when I've been hurt. To think I'm asking someone who bled on a cross and was beaten because of people just like me, yet, he forgave us then and still forgives us now astonishes me.

I'm always reminded that God knows what he is doing when he calls us to forgiveness. And it really is for our best interest that we follow that call.

He knows how damaging resentment, anger, bitterness, and dwelling on the past can be on our soul. He knows how it can seep into our heart like poison and cloud our ability to experience joy, peace, and grace.

He knows it is best for US if we forgive others because WE get to experience freedom from carrying this heavyweight around.

God does not call us to forgive so that he can diminish our feelings or experience.

There is a difference between forgiving and acting like something never happened.

Forgiveness is not saying, "What they did to me was OK" it's more like, "I'm choosing to let go of this so I can be OK"

Forgiveness never gives someone an "out" for what they did. It does, however, give you an out from the weight of it all.

Because the truth is that no matter how much time or energy we put into judging the person who hurt us, it doesn't make a difference. Judgment is not our job, it's God's.

I'm not saying this is easy or there is some simple formula for this. I thought I had forgiven someone months ago for something that hurt me deeply only to find that those feelings had bubbled back to the surface and I recognized I wasn't completely over it.

Maybe you've experienced that too.

Sometimes it's not a one and done kind of thing. Sometimes saying "I forgave them" once isn't going to make it all go away. Sometimes you'll need to continually choose forgiveness because your brain will be telling you differently.

Keep choosing forgiveness anyway. For YOU. For your soul. For your faith. Keep choosing it over and over so you can feel free.

And in those times when it feels impossible? Ask God to intervene and give you the strength to forgive. because we can't do this on our own.

But it is possible.

So keep choosing it.

Because you deserve it.

Because you will live a better life.

And because forgiveness is so graciously given to you, too.