If I Die In A Mass Shooting, Here's What I Want You To Know

If I Die In A Mass Shooting, Here's What I Want You To Know

I never thought it would happen to me.


If I die in a mass shooting, here's what I want you to know.

I want you to know I don't know a time when I've been alive that there hasn't been inexplicable gun violence in our country. I grew up watching shooting after shooting on the news. I read about it. I cried over it.

But I never thought it would happen to me.

I want you to know I felt shocked when I first heard of the Virginia Tech shootings. I was 12-years-old. I didn't understand how anything that evil could have happened. 32 people were dead. I prayed. My 7th grade class signed cards to send to the families of the victims. I remember my history teacher talking about the 2nd amendment and how we have the right to bear arms. Some of the people in my class said they loved the 2nd amendment because they hunted with guns and without it, they couldn't.

But I never thought it would happen to me.

I want you to know I felt extreme grief and sadness when I saw the Sandy Hook shootings on the news. I was in high school. How could anyone shoot 20 innocent elementary students? Young, innocent humans who were only 6, 7-years-old. What could they have done to trigger the wrath of a monster so terrible, he killed them and six others? Why didn't anyone notice he was violent? I cried. I prayed. I asked God, why? And how?

But I never thought it would happen to me.

I want you to know I couldn't breathe when someone told me 49 people died in Orlando, Florida. And over 50 people were injured at Pulse Night Club. I was in college. This time, I looked at the assault rifle and the gun the shooter used. My stomach twisted. How could anyone think of slaughtering so many people? Let alone at the same time? I prayed... but it didn't feel like enough. So, I decided to research why and how someone like this could even buy a gun like this to begin with.

But I never thought it would happen to me.

I want you to know that I felt a mix of anger and pain when nearly 60 people lost their lives in Las Vegas after a gunman opened fire from his hotel room. They were at a concert. They were in Vegas. They should have had a lovely vacation and made it home safe to their loved ones. At this point, I had graduated from college. I had moved to New York City, another bustling metropolis where tourists often visited and concerts happened daily. I prayed. And then I called my Senators.

Because at this point, I realized, this could happen to me.

If I die in a mass shooting, I want you to know that I was a person who tried to put an end to mass shootings in the United States. I called my representatives. I marched in marches. I spoke out against gun violence. I explained to those who disagreed with me, I didn't want the 2nd amendment to go away. That according to our Constitution, it is our right to have guns, bear arms. All of that. I just wanted stricter gun control. I wanted background checks. I wanted to limit the guns we could own.

I could not process why anyone would oppose reasonable measures to prevent someone with the intention to kill hundreds of people from getting a firearm. Could they not see what I see?

If I die in a mass shooting, I want you to know that dying in a mass shooting was one of my biggest fears.

On days when my anxiety roared its ugliest head, I would frequently, without realizing, think of how I would escape a building in case shots started firing. I want you to know that if you look at my Google search history, you'll find phrases like "how to protect yourself during an open fire" and "how common is it to die in a mass shooting in the United States?" I want you to know that it crosses my mind, even just for a split second, every time I leave my house to go to work, the gym, my Pilates studio, or church.

So if I die in a mass shooting, I hope it's the last mass shooting there is. Although, if our country's history is any indication, I doubt it will be.

If you care about gun reform in our country, call your representatives. You can find who represents you, and their contact information here. To learn more, head to https://ceasefireusa.org/.

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6 Things You Should Know About The Woman Who Can't Stand Modern Feminism

Yes, she wants to be heard too.


2018 is sort of a trap for this woman. She believes in women with all of the fire inside of her, but it is hard for her to offer support when people are making fools of themselves and disguising it as feminism.

The fact of the matter is that women possess qualities that men don't and men possess qualities that women don't. That is natural. Plus, no one sees men parading the streets in penis costumes complaining that they don't get to carry their own fetus for nine months.

1. She really loves and values women.

She is incredibly proud to be a woman.

She knows the amount of power than a woman's presence alone can hold. She sees when a woman walks into a room and makes the whole place light up. She begs that you won't make her feel like a "lady hater" because she doesn't want to follow a trend that she doesn't agree with.

2. She wants equality, too

She has seen the fundamental issues in the corporate world, where women and men are not receiving equal pay.

She doesn't cheer on the businesses that don't see women and men as equivalents. But she does recognize that if she works her butt off, she can be as successful as she wants to.

3. She wears a bra.

While she knows the "I don't have to wear a bra for society" trend isn't a new one, but she doesn't quite get it. Like maybe she wants to wear a bra because it makes her feel better. Maybe she wears a bra because it is the normal things to do... And that's OK.

Maybe she wants to put wear a lacy bra and pretty makeup to feel girly on .a date night. She is confused by the women who claim to be "fighting for women," because sometimes they make her feel bad for expressing her ladyhood in a different way than them.

4. She hates creeps just as much as you do. .

Just because she isn't a feminist does not mean that she is cool with the gruesome reality that 1 in 5 women are sexually abused.

In fact, this makes her stomach turn inside out to think about. She knows and loves people who have been through such a tragedy and wants to put the terrible, creepy, sexually charged criminals behind bars just as bad as the next woman.

Remember that just because she isn't a feminist doesn't mean she thinks awful men can do whatever they want.

5. There is a reason she is ashamed of 2018's version of feminism.

She looks at women in history who have made a difference and is miserably blown away by modern feminism's performance.

Not only have women in the past won themselves the right to vote, but also the right to buy birth control and have credit cards in their names and EVEN saw marital rape become a criminal offense.

None of them dressed in vagina costumes to win anyone over though... Crazy, right?

6. She isn't going to dress in a lady parts costume to prove a point.

This leaves her speechless. It is like the women around her have absolutely lost their minds and their agendas, only lessening their own credibility.

"Mom, what are those ladies on TV dressed up as?"

"Ummm... it looks to me like they are pink taco's honey."

She loves who she is and she cherished what makes her different from the men around her. She doesn't want to compromise who she is as a woman just so she can be "equal with men."

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Believe It Or Not, Trump Is Not An Idiot

I know this headline is scary, but hear me out.


If we were to place all of the smartest people in the world on a stage, Trump would be sitting (angrily I'm sure) in the audience. I do not think that Trump is an extraordinarily smart man. In fact, I wouldn't even consider him an ordinarily smart man. However, to call him an idiot would somehow diminish all of the harmful things he has done. To call Trump an idiot is to take away from how dangerous he truly is. To be clear, he is not dangerous because of his status, or his power, or even his money. He is dangerous because of his hate. If all of the hostility that man carries isn't enough, he holds alongside him a troop of people as equally, if not more so, hateful than he is. What is more dangerous than an old bigot you ask? An old bigot who is less intelligent than his supervisors. There is something much more daunting about an old man who can not make decisions for himself.

Often the criticisms I see of Trump and his administration center around his personal intelligence, capability, and shortcomings. Very rarely do I see the same attacks on the people guiding him, supporting him, or enabling him. Although I think Trump is a vile human being, I think he is often a distraction. At the end of the day, Trump cannot pass legislation by himself, he cannot fight wars on his own, and he can't run this country into the ground by his lonesome (granted I believe he wishes he could). To be completely transparent I think the latter action has been happening for decades. I think we have made, as a country, some very very poor decisions that have led us here. Although I think we are seeing a cascade of events that have been placed like dominos by our democracy, my focus is on the current situation.

So where does that leave us? In wildfires that our president blames on poor use of controlled deforestation while simultaneously cutting funding to conservation programs? In the potential wake of empty and careless threats of nuclear warfare? In states with steadily deteriorating infrastructure and education? In hospitals that we cannot pay bills for because our healthcare has slowly been torn from us?

It is important to remember that there are, unfortunately, people with much worse intentions than Trump. There are people working every day to mold the country into what works best for them. We are so often distracted that we forget that one family holds 40% of the wealth in this country, that our economy is disenfranchising a large majority of us, and that innocent people are being killed every day. We are blind to the lives we are destroying in this country and others. We are so caught up in whatever Trump is doing we don't realize that there are systematic problems our representatives avoid fixing like solutions are a plague. I think that there are many things wrong with this country, far beyond nepotism and narcissism. One of them is our inability as a society to hold all folks accountable.

Trump is not an idiot. He is an entitled man who was born into wealth and fortune. He is a predatory man that has had to do little by himself for his entire existence. I think he is a puppet, being moved by much more malicious hands than his own.

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