Why I'm Happy With The Way I Look
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Health and Wellness

Why I'm Happy With The Way I Look

It was a long, tough road, but I made it

Why I'm Happy With The Way I Look
Kinsey Sturgeon

When I was in high school, I hated the way I looked naturally. I wanted to lose ten, 20, 30 pounds, avoided tight clothes, had to do my makeup and hair every day. There was actually a point where I didn't even recognize my own face without makeup and didn't like what I saw at all.

It's taken me a year and a half, but I can finally leave my dorm proudly in no makeup and just-air-dried hair. I don't necessarily avoid tight clothes, but I do try to find ones that work with my body shape that make me look and feel good.

My first semester of college, I was still keeping up with my habits from high school. I would wake up an hour before I needed to leave for my first class and pick out an outfit, do my makeup, and curl my hair. When you've spent an entire summer of sleeping as late as you want, it's a little rough to get up at 8:45 a.m. every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

When I came back for the spring semester, I stopped doing my hair if I had showered in the morning or the night before because I figured I could pull off the "beachy waves" look without a problem. Slowly, I started to love the way my natural hair looks and began to find excuses to leave it natural--partially because it was easier--or to tame how frizzy it can be.

Acceptance of my body was the next step. I've tried to start working out on more than one occasion and really just can't ever keep myself to it. First, I start to make deals with myself--"well, since I'm walking across campus today, I don't really need to go to the gym." Then, I start complaining that I'm just too busy to go to the gym. Which, I'm not gonna lie, I am really busy, but I have enough free time to take two-hour naps in the middle of the day and watch Netflix for three hours a day. Eventually, I just stop even trying to get in shape. I started shopping for clothes I knew would fit and avoided the, "I'd love to try it, but there's no way it'd look good on me," mentality. I started to watch shows with women who looked more like me--one of my favorite ones was "Cristela." Eventually, I suppose I just started to accept my body as it was. Now, I'd still love to lose some weight and have the occasional insecure moment--what girl doesn't?--but most of the time, I feel pretty comfortable in my own skin.

My last mountain to conquer was to love my natural face. It didn't happen until very recently. This year, I got a job as night desk staff in my dorm. In case you don't know, night desk staff works two shifts from 12 a.m. to 7 a.m. Most of the time last semester, I worked second shift which starts at 3:30 a.m. When you work at 3:30 in the morning, you need to sleep beforehand; it is the only way to survive. I cannot sleep in makeup. I will break out if I do and nobody wants that. So I spent three to five nights a week going to work in no makeup. Most of the time, I wouldn't catch my face in a mirror, but when I did, I wasn't displeased. It was in just the last few weeks I've really started to love the no-makeup look. I have an aerobics class twice a week and I don't want to sweat off my makeup, so I just don't wear it. Honestly, it is the best thing I've ever done for my face and it has helped me become so comfortable with myself. Don't get me wrong, I still love my makeup collection and sometimes will just try new makeup looks for the heck of it or because I'm bored, but to be happy with what I see when I'm not wearing it is a huge step for me.

In the end, I guess the way I learned to love myself, was to force myself to see the thing that I hated for what it was and just move on. I know that it can be hard for many people to learn to love the way they look, and that's perfectly fine. I mean, it took me 20 years.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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