Too many summers have gone by indoors. It's gotten way easier to stay indoors when we have the world at our fingertips (A.K.A. the Internet). This summer, I have realized the gift and massive responsibility that everyone alive has been given: life.

We often take for granted how privileged we are for being alive and cognizant of our existence. We take things for granted because we get so used to waking up in the morning, day after day, and register this action as being normal, mundane. Imagine if you knew that you wouldn't wake up tomorrow. Sucks right?

Now you're thinking of all the things on your bucket list, and your trying to figure out a way to fit them all into one day, or just a handful of hours. What if all you had to do was go outside for a few moments, and appreciate that you can experience being awake, alive, when so many others cannot or have yet to do so.

This summer, I decided to go outside more often. I decided to finally practice riding my bike, to do my work outside, to read outside, to watch plays outside, to meet new people outside, to not give any f**ks outside, to do anything outside. (Major side note: have you ever stared at something and felt like you were a thing inside of a body? It's pretty weird, yet oddly fascinating.)

During my lowest points, I had an extremely hard time appreciating life and how privileged I am. I saw no point prolonging the suffering I had created with anxiety, my partner in crime. My attitude towards life started to change once I started to actually do things outside of my room, my ultimate comfort zone. I had the implicit goal of turning my room into the proverbial New Yorker's crash pad.

So far, I'd say I have succeeded. During many vacations from school in the past, I would mostly stay home and binge-watch TV shows and movies. This summer, I have gone outside to meet complete strangers, and actually came home late. I told myself that I would not go home until I have finished submitting one internship application, and I've done that too. Having gotten a tan has served as affirmation of accomplishing my main goal: appreciating life again.

Today I'm outside; it's 3:03pm and roughly 83 degrees, mostly sunny. A fly rested on the knuckle of my thumb. I didn't swat it away; the sunlight was glinting off its body, bringing out a bright green hue. It's alive, and so am I.