I've expressed my feelings for you the best I can, but no matter what I say or how I say it, it feels insignificant. Not enough. I use fancy words, sappy pining, simple actions, and gestures — even just being there with you. Never enough. You love me back, which causes me even more anguish over finding new ways to state the obvious. I love you.
Even the most heartfelt expressions of love do not come close to how much you have changed me, shaped me, and saved me. How living without you seems impossible. How can one small, insignificant, imperfect human like me love someone so much, and be loved by someone so much?
Maybe, my imperfection is what keeps me from communicating the depth of my love for you.
You are my light. You are my life. No, not enough... You make me feel human, which is to be vulnerable (a scary thing to be). But, your love is the courage I need, the safety I have longed for my whole life. You make my pain disappear. You pull me up from the depths of despair.
I am infatuated by you. Your very presence is like nicotine. Addictive. When you kiss me, time stops. Perhaps I will find the right words to express my love. Perhaps I won't. But, I will search for them, for all of eternity, for you — for the right words to express the all-consuming love I have burning in me.
Forever with you is not enough, I need eternity. Eternity is a small price to pay to search for the most perfect way to tell you how much you mean to me, the person I didn't know I needed until I had you. And, if I have not properly expressed it to you in eternity, I will keep searching. You are worth dedicating my life to.
Despite the bursts of anguish I feel at not being able to find the words right now, I am grateful that I am able to feel these feelings at all. I am grateful that I found a love that pushes me to be a better person, and that fills me with so much purpose. For although the words elude me, my feelings radiate out of me like sunbeams. I believe you can feel them embracing you, whispering to you what I can't say myself. This brings me comfort on my eternal journey to prove to you that I am worthy of your love.
Is it okay to call our love hopefully hopeless?
It may seem strange, but it is how best I can describe it. I am hopelessly in love with you, and I am hopeful that it will last. I sometimes feel hopeless that I will ever express my love properly to you, but I am hopeful that I will. I am hopeful that this feeling will last forever, that you and I will last forever. Is it too much to feel these things for you?
