Growing up, I quickly learned that we live in a very heteronormative society. This is a worldview that promotes heterosexuality as the "normal" and preferred sexual orientation. I realized that the ideal scenario while living in the United States is to be a privileged, white, heterosexual, cisgender, male. We see so many constant reinforces of this throughout our everyday lives in a plethora of ways, including signs and signals. This noticeable behavior in our culture is seen everywhere- in parenting, the workplace, our education system, and the list goes on...
I got lucky. My parents are extremely liberal and open-minded. I grew up doing a variety of diverse activities. One minute I would be completely covered in mud, the next I would be playing princess dress-up. For me, I learned that I enjoyed the (predominately) male activities much more. I started hunting, fishing, and playing outdoors in any way. I am an only child and have always been able to freely express myself through my hobbies, dress, style, and so much more.
Some kids are not as fortunate. One time, I was having a "play date" at my house with a (boy) friend; we were having a blast. I was absolutely shocked when his mother came to pick him up, saw we were playing with dolls, and immediately snatched the Barbie from his hand. She then proceeded to scold my mother, shutting the door behind their quick departure.
'Why can't he play with the dolls too?' I asked myself. My mom tried to explain the gender roles our society forces upon us.
Parents like these are concerned with how acting differently, not according to the set gender roles, will influence their children. Boys should play with action figure toys, while girls need to stick to playing with baby dolls. Boys need to like the color blue, and girls with pink. See... I'm more of a purple kind of gal.
Toys for kids today are just another example, showing boys/men as strong, heroic figures... while girls, on the other hand, are shown needing to take care of the babies and stay cooking in the kitchen. Or better yet, dress up as a Disney princess until a man comes to save them from distress. What!??? That's bullshit! Why are we brainwashing our kids?
I am a straight, cisgender, woman... even though I played with male-gendered toys. See, that's the beauty of individuality- let kids play with whatever makes them happy! A little boy is not going to play with a doll once and then automatically decide that he is a gay or wants to become a girl. If that is the case, let me tell you, it wasn't the doll.
Heteronormativity is the golden standard which is not fair to LGBTQ families, kids struggling with their identities, or our society as a whole. Such teaching passes down ignorance to these children. These forced normative behaviors mark our roles in society and define how we should act. Subconscious examples such as these all start with parenting. Traditional and close-minded views are taught to children at a young age and manifest into adulthood.
This ideology is unfortunately hard to change because hatred is passed down from generation to generation, making it hard to break this chain. We must accept that many are facing the disease of ignorance and that is the biggest factor. A lot of the time, whenever an individual is sexist, racist, homophobic, etc. it is because they have not actually been exposed to the ones in which they are discriminating against.
Teaching people (especially the youth) to be accepting, educated, knowledgeable, and tolerant of others is extremely important. It's the basis of being a decent human being! Someone's gender expression, identity, or sexual preference does not affect the individuals that are enforcing such bigotry.
Don't stay inside a bubble, or you'll miss out on a lot of the world.
