So here's the thing, I went MIA from this site for about a year. The reasoning behind this are many different things, but the biggest is that I was trying to figure myself out. I started and stopped different jobs, I travelled, I apartment hunted, lost a home, friends, and family, and yet, I am still here. My whole life is changing once again, just when I thought I figured it out, but I guess that's okay. So here's a little break down.
This time a year ago, things seemed to be going great. Fantastic, actually. I was home for the summer from my freshman year at university, I was going out every day and night, and I was just having a great time. Before I knew it, it was time to head back up to my home-away-from-home, Long Island. I got back to school and settled in to a whole new living environment and before I knew it, I was a second semester junior… confusing, right? For me too. So, what this means is that my time at university is quickly coming to a close and I'll be moving on much quicker than I thought. Originally there was a good chance I would have been spending nine semesters at university, instead of the usual eight, but now it's seven. I'm technically finishing a year ahead of my original plans, but I am more than okay with that. Means I get to move into an apartment in the city much sooner, but it also means I am busting my ass four times as much.
In the midst of this all I've been working in daycares, babysitting, data processing for companies, writing online, editing articles and doing commissioned artwork in order to make some cash for school and my family. I've also been running my university's galleries, helping out in multiple areas on campus and going to a bunch of events in the city that are related to my majors and minors. Needless to say, I'm exhausted, but excited.
Right before the end of this school year, my brother and I received a phone call saying that we lost our home and were evicted. So, there we were, in school in New York, while our family was in Pennsylvania, with finals week two days away and me in charge of a trip into the city for a bunch of students. We didn't know what to do and wished that we could have been with our family during that time, but it just did not work out. However, one and a half weeks later, we packed up and left school after finals and travelled back to Pennsylvania. We had no idea what to expect, except that everyone was staying at my dad's very small house. When I say small, I mean small. There are seven of us here, and it is probably big enough for two people at the absolute max. We are still searching for a place to live, but my mother is terminally ill and my PopPop who took care of us growing up passed away, and my grandmother is raising my cousin, but they are living off her monthly social security checks. All that is left is my uncle who has to come and go every week and my younger brother and I. There isn't much money left to work with after bills, medical bills, everyday expenses, etc. Things are extremely tough and seem to be getting harder, but I'm trying to make the best of these situations.
My entire life is changing and has been hitting me hard, but I'm ready for anything at this point. I'm ready to finish up my last year or so of school, get a "real" job, write more and move on with my life. I've probably grown up way too fast, but you know, some people have to. I'm okay where I am right now in my life because I know I'm still young and I know what I want and I may not know exactly what I'm doing, but I'm figuring it out.
Life doesn't always go as planned and great opportunities don't just get handed to. You have to want them, take those chances and opportunities, fail and try again until those dreams are bigger than what you thought they were going to be. That is when life truly happens for you.
So, yes, I'm in a very difficult stage in life, but these last few months have also taught me the most. I never thought I'd have to go through half the things I did, but you know what? I'm more than glad I did.
